Hey You Try Walking In These Shoes

Zoe George - 20 Jul 16

OK so I don’t mean shoes as in Jimmy Choo. I was going more for my metaphorical shoes. Sometimes it feels as if life is less like a little friendly competition and more like a shark infested pool of judgement. Our every move is scrutinised by friends and family. Judged by strangers.

As a society we share some of our most inner thoughts and beliefs across social media. Yet we are outraged when other people comment less than positively. No on can ever know the full workings of someone’s life. However much they share. So how come we are all so quick to judge?

Yes you heard me over there in the cafe, judging me for not allowing my son to have a biscuit the other day. For your information we had only popped in to use the facilities having had a milkshake and a biscuit 5 minutes ago at another cafe. (Where he had said he didn’t need the loo before we left…)

I know, most people have good intentions. They don’t mean to make you feel bad or at least not quite as bad as they do make you feel. Now I was always taught if you have nothing nice to say then say nothing. This is a good life pointer. However; in the case of mothering advice or opinion I would say this is better: ‘if your advice or opinion is not invited then don’t offer it’

I am returning to work 6 months after my second baby, its not my first choice but needs must. Now everyone has an opinion on this. From the ‘oh poor you, that must be hard’ crowd to the ‘well as you aren’t breastfeeding its not the end of the world’ group. OK people; firstly, yes it is hard but it is still my choice to return to work (I like work and the extra cash it brings). Secondly don’t beat me with your breastfeeding stick and finally I didn’t invite your opinion on my decision.

Frankly most of the things I do as a Mother leave me with quite enough guilt to haul around. I don’t need other people to add to my load. It is tough enough juggling children, work, husband and 2 crazy sausage dogs without having anyone else’s judgement to contend with. So remember this next time you see a Mum out and about. You haven’t walked in her shoes. You know nothing of her life. Cut the poor woman some slack. Take your advice and opinion elsewhere. No matter how well intentioned.

Zoe George

Mummy to Pudding (7 Months) and Pie (4yrs), also mother of dachshunds, Flick & Toby! NICU Nurse and wife of a NICU Nurse. Living crammed into a small house, full of love and laughter. Life is fast and parenting is a rollercoaster, riding the highs and lows :)

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