Home Alone this Christmas
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For some of my friends, Christmas starts in November (ok, October…) but I put it all off for as long as I can. It’s one week before the big day, and we have no tree and our fireplace is devoid of decorations. I think it’s that I’m torn between spending the money on all the extras, or spending more on my son. For the last 4 years, he has won out! It stems from a layer of guilt that I can’t give him a big, happy family Christmas.
My family consists of me, my 18 year old son, and our 8 year old Staffie girl. I’m one of the hundreds of
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thousands of people in the UK who are estranged from their family, and this time of year is particularly difficult. The myriad questions about what we’re planning, where we’re going, who we’ll be with – the accepted tradition of family all together at this joyous time.
I have had no contact with my dad in 28 years, since he moved to Belgium and never kept in contact. He did try to reach out to me about 10 years ago via FriendsReunited, but I still felt such anger and abandonment, that I told him it was too little too late. The situation with
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my mum is more complicated, but suffice it to say that we haven’t spoken in 2 and half years. We send cards for birthdays & Christmas, but this is the limit of it.
For those who need support or want to contact others in a similar situation, there is the charity, Stand Alone who work to stop estranged adults becoming vulnerable. Of course, this time of year, that feeling of abandonment, and loneliness is more poignant.
I’m really happy with my little, non-traditional family, I’m not inviting you to a pity party, rather I felt it was timely
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to reach out, tell this part of my story, and perhaps make someone else feel ok with their familial estrangement. I like to imagine myself as Kevin McCallister, in Home Alone, enjoying the huge freedom from conforming to family rituals, bouncing on the bed, eating whatever I want!
Through all of this, I also learned a huge lesson – my family are the people I choose to have in my life. My friends are a mixed bunch, all loving, caring and they are in my life, not because of obligation. As much as I love them though, I’m still considering adding to
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my family with another dog!
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Kay Stratton - 18 Dec 16
For some of my friends, Christmas starts in November (ok, October…) but I put it all off for as long as I can. It’s one week before the big day, and we have no tree and our fireplace is devoid of decorations. I think it’s that I’m torn between spending the money on all the extras, or spending more on my son. For the last 4 years, he has won out! It stems from a layer of guilt that I can’t give him a big, happy family Christmas.
My family consists of me, my 18 year old son, and our 8 year old Staffie girl. I’m one of the hundreds of thousands of people in the UK who are estranged from their family, and this time of year is particularly difficult. The myriad questions about what we’re planning, where we’re going, who we’ll be with – the accepted tradition of family all together at this joyous time.
I have had no contact with my dad in 28 years, since he moved to Belgium and never kept in contact. He did try to reach out to me about 10 years ago via FriendsReunited, but I still felt such anger and abandonment, that I told him it was too little too late. The situation with my mum is more complicated, but suffice it to say that we haven’t spoken in 2 and half years. We send cards for birthdays & Christmas, but this is the limit of it.
For those who need support or want to contact others in a similar situation, there is the charity, Stand Alone who work to stop estranged adults becoming vulnerable. Of course, this time of year, that feeling of abandonment, and loneliness is more poignant.
I’m really happy with my little, non-traditional family, I’m not inviting you to a pity party, rather I felt it was timely to reach out, tell this part of my story, and perhaps make someone else feel ok with their familial estrangement. I like to imagine myself as Kevin McCallister, in Home Alone, enjoying the huge freedom from conforming to family rituals, bouncing on the bed, eating whatever I want!
Through all of this, I also learned a huge lesson – my family are the people I choose to have in my life. My friends are a mixed bunch, all loving, caring and they are in my life, not because of obligation. As much as I love them though, I’m still considering adding to my family with another dog!
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Single mum to disabled son. Writer, blogger, Twitter addict, recovering alcoholic (sober date 28/4/09)
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