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View as: GRID LIST

Honesty or Over Sharing? We All Deserve The Truth!

1
Some say that new mums have never had it so easy! You have probably been subjected to your mother-in-law (or other irritating older female) bemoaning the fact that in her day there was only one kind of bottle, one kind of formula, no ipads, no Ocado, no washing machines, no electricity, just mud huts with 20 to a bed and a husband with a spear who was out hunting all day and never helped change a nappy!

And to a certain extent she is right. New mums really haven’t ever had it so good. We have so much choice at our fingertips, it takes only a couple

SelfishMother.com
2
of clicks on Amazon to order up the latest gadget that promises to reduce colic, induce sleep or make your child more intelligent. We have so much advice available to us, you could spend light years trawling through a Google Search on “Baby Routines” or “What is this rash?”.

We have a seemingly infinite number of baby groups to suit every kind of mother – you want a Baby Massage group for Vegan Tories?…have a Google, you will probably find one! You want a Cantonese Singing Group for Left-Handed, Jigsaw enthusiasts? There will be one in

SelfishMother.com
3
your borough for sure!

We are also surrounded by some amazingly honest and funny women on social media who are helping to make the struggle of Motherhood more bearable on a daily basis.

Thanks to Selfish Mother we appreciate that we CAN look after ourselves as well as our children – and whilst helping others at the same time!

The Unmumsy Mum has shown us that you don’t need to be a gushy, Stepford Wife-style mother and that it’s ok to call your kids bad words behind their backs!

The Scummy Mummies have taught us that scummy is the new

SelfishMother.com
4
yummy and that doing the school run with your G-String struck down the leg of your jeans is just par for the course.

Hurrah for Gin tells us that it’s ok to laugh about some of the challenges (shitty shitty moments) that motherhood brings and to wash it all down with a strong drink at the end of the day!

Thanks to Clemmie Telford we know that being an honest mum is the best kind of mum and we don’t always have to put on a brave face.

Mother of Daughters shows her 300k followers that you can survive having 4 kids and a job and write a book at

SelfishMother.com
5
the same time, but its not all plain sailing!

The Pioneer that is Mother Pukka has shown us all that sometimes something needs to give, and that can be your career, but maybe it’s for the greater good! Check out her Flexappeal!

Mothers Meetings constantly remind us that becoming a mum is not a death knell for coolness and that actually there are plenty of hip mamas around!

Lets not forget the dads who are also doing a sterling job of making us laugh and keeping it real, like Father of Daughters, Pappa Pukka and The Dad Network! Becoming a

SelfishMother.com
6
father for the first time is not plain sailing either but keeping your sense of humour and being honest with others is key!

Never have new mothers and fathers had it all laid out so honestly in front of them! The Daily Mail attempts to shame the “over sharing” but we applaud it. If something is going to be a bit shit, don’t you deserve to know before you take the plunge? That’s what Trip Advisor is for right? If I am thinking of going to see a Mongolian Interpretive Dance Troupe in East London, I’m going to have a little look online and see

SelfishMother.com
7
what others have to say about it. If the reviewers say “Starts off slowly, gets really interesting after the interval. There are no toilets and there is no bar”…then guess what? I’m going to arrive at half- time, I’m going to have a wee before I get there and I’m bringing a can of G and T!!! If I went along to the show expecting the Bolshoi Ballet and free flowing Krug Champagne then I would be sorely disappointed! Much of life, especially parenthood, is all about being prepared and having realistic expectations.

So many new mums start off

SelfishMother.com
8
their motherhood career on the back foot. “NOBODY TOLD ME” they fume!

Nobody told me that labour hurt so much I thought I might die

Nobody told me I might crap myself in labour.

Nobody told me that I might not my dream birth with fair lights and whale music.

Nobody told me that my fanny would look like a hand grenade had gone off!

Nobody told me breastfeeding was difficult and I might lose half a nipple in the first week!

Nobody told me that I might not bond with my baby the first second of it’s life, or even the first

SelfishMother.com
9
week!

Nobody told me I would hate my husband when he went for drinks after work for the hundredth time that month!

New Mums are mad that their closest friends and family did not give them the proper lowdown – so we are making it OUR mission to make sure every man and woman knows the score for pregnancy, birth and beyond.

The new breed of mums and dads value honesty and full disclosure. We are not prudish or guarded like our own parents before us. We are not afraid or embarrassed to talk about our weak pelvic floor, our non-existent sex-lives

SelfishMother.com
10
and our boredom at having to read The Tiger Who Came to Tea again! By being brave and honest, we are paving the way for those coming behind us and making the ride as smooth as possible for them.

BUT we have a glitch…Most mums do not discover the “motherhood” until they have actually become a mother, hit some kind of low and then actively sought out some kindred spirits. But who knows at what point in their parenting career this will occur? 4 weeks in, 4 months in or maybe even 4 years in? We need to reach out to the new mums and dads earlier,

SelfishMother.com
11
during their pregnancies, before the little “troll comes tobogganing out of their snatch on a wave of turds” * and tell them how it is! It can be tough, it can be gory, it can be boring, it can be impossible and it can be terrifying all at the same time, but you will be glad you did it and you will survive!

So listen, do a pregnant friend a favour, let them know about the mums you follow that have got you through your darkest days! Tell them about A Mother Place, the home of FREE Online Antenatal Classes that will set them straight and empower

SelfishMother.com
12
them for what lies ahead!

Come follow us on Instagram and share your #nobodytoldme story.

* Thank you Rob Delaney- Catastrophe

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SelfishMother.com

By

This blog was originally posted on SelfishMother.com - why not sign up & share what's on your mind, too?

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We regularly share posts on @SelfishMother Instagram and Facebook :)

- 4 Jul 17

Some say that new mums have never had it so easy! You have probably been subjected to your mother-in-law (or other irritating older female) bemoaning the fact that in her day there was only one kind of bottle, one kind of formula, no ipads, no Ocado, no washing machines, no electricity, just mud huts with 20 to a bed and a husband with a spear who was out hunting all day and never helped change a nappy!

And to a certain extent she is right. New mums really haven’t ever had it so good. We have so much choice at our fingertips, it takes only a couple of clicks on Amazon to order up the latest gadget that promises to reduce colic, induce sleep or make your child more intelligent. We have so much advice available to us, you could spend light years trawling through a Google Search on “Baby Routines” or “What is this rash?”.

We have a seemingly infinite number of baby groups to suit every kind of mother – you want a Baby Massage group for Vegan Tories?…have a Google, you will probably find one! You want a Cantonese Singing Group for Left-Handed, Jigsaw enthusiasts? There will be one in your borough for sure!

We are also surrounded by some amazingly honest and funny women on social media who are helping to make the struggle of Motherhood more bearable on a daily basis.

Thanks to Selfish Mother we appreciate that we CAN look after ourselves as well as our children – and whilst helping others at the same time!

The Unmumsy Mum has shown us that you don’t need to be a gushy, Stepford Wife-style mother and that it’s ok to call your kids bad words behind their backs!

The Scummy Mummies have taught us that scummy is the new yummy and that doing the school run with your G-String struck down the leg of your jeans is just par for the course.

Hurrah for Gin tells us that it’s ok to laugh about some of the challenges (shitty shitty moments) that motherhood brings and to wash it all down with a strong drink at the end of the day!

Thanks to Clemmie Telford we know that being an honest mum is the best kind of mum and we don’t always have to put on a brave face.

Mother of Daughters shows her 300k followers that you can survive having 4 kids and a job and write a book at the same time, but its not all plain sailing!

The Pioneer that is Mother Pukka has shown us all that sometimes something needs to give, and that can be your career, but maybe it’s for the greater good! Check out her Flexappeal!

Mothers Meetings constantly remind us that becoming a mum is not a death knell for coolness and that actually there are plenty of hip mamas around!

Lets not forget the dads who are also doing a sterling job of making us laugh and keeping it real, like Father of Daughters, Pappa Pukka and The Dad Network! Becoming a father for the first time is not plain sailing either but keeping your sense of humour and being honest with others is key!

Never have new mothers and fathers had it all laid out so honestly in front of them! The Daily Mail attempts to shame the “over sharing” but we applaud it. If something is going to be a bit shit, don’t you deserve to know before you take the plunge? That’s what Trip Advisor is for right? If I am thinking of going to see a Mongolian Interpretive Dance Troupe in East London, I’m going to have a little look online and see what others have to say about it. If the reviewers say “Starts off slowly, gets really interesting after the interval. There are no toilets and there is no bar”…then guess what? I’m going to arrive at half- time, I’m going to have a wee before I get there and I’m bringing a can of G and T!!! If I went along to the show expecting the Bolshoi Ballet and free flowing Krug Champagne then I would be sorely disappointed! Much of life, especially parenthood, is all about being prepared and having realistic expectations.

So many new mums start off their motherhood career on the back foot. “NOBODY TOLD ME” they fume!

Nobody told me that labour hurt so much I thought I might die

Nobody told me I might crap myself in labour.

Nobody told me that I might not my dream birth with fair lights and whale music.

Nobody told me that my fanny would look like a hand grenade had gone off!

Nobody told me breastfeeding was difficult and I might lose half a nipple in the first week!

Nobody told me that I might not bond with my baby the first second of it’s life, or even the first week!

Nobody told me I would hate my husband when he went for drinks after work for the hundredth time that month!

New Mums are mad that their closest friends and family did not give them the proper lowdown – so we are making it OUR mission to make sure every man and woman knows the score for pregnancy, birth and beyond.

The new breed of mums and dads value honesty and full disclosure. We are not prudish or guarded like our own parents before us. We are not afraid or embarrassed to talk about our weak pelvic floor, our non-existent sex-lives and our boredom at having to read The Tiger Who Came to Tea again! By being brave and honest, we are paving the way for those coming behind us and making the ride as smooth as possible for them.

BUT we have a glitch…Most mums do not discover the “motherhood” until they have actually become a mother, hit some kind of low and then actively sought out some kindred spirits. But who knows at what point in their parenting career this will occur? 4 weeks in, 4 months in or maybe even 4 years in? We need to reach out to the new mums and dads earlier, during their pregnancies, before the little “troll comes tobogganing out of their snatch on a wave of turds” * and tell them how it is! It can be tough, it can be gory, it can be boring, it can be impossible and it can be terrifying all at the same time, but you will be glad you did it and you will survive!

So listen, do a pregnant friend a favour, let them know about the mums you follow that have got you through your darkest days! Tell them about A Mother Place, the home of FREE Online Antenatal Classes that will set them straight and empower them for what lies ahead!

Come follow us on Instagram and share your #nobodytoldme story.

* Thank you Rob Delaney- Catastrophe

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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