How do they ALWAYS know!

Sarah Lloyd - 11 Apr 17

My girls are master detectives…

No idea how they do it – but the little darlings have a habit of knowing when you really need a good night’s sleep and completely ruining our every chance of that. I can sense quite a few mums and dads shaking heads at that… but seriously HOW do they KNOW!! It’s normally when I have to head into London for an important meeting, you know the type where you have to actually sound like you know what you are talking about. Or, when you have that ill-advised extra glass of vino because you missed your train and the only thing you could do for an hour was go to the pub (!).

Having been back at work now for nearly 4 months I had hoped that sleep might start to come to us by now (as it did with bubba number 1).  No such luck… and here are the likely reasons why I am currently looking like an extra from the ‘Walking Dead’…

Teeth – Bubba one just finished getting her nashers, and now bubba number 2 is in the throes of pushing 3 through at the same time. Fantastic as this goes on for another 12 months at least… JOY!

Snotface, viruses and coughs from nursery – which I love – as when your child has a temp for three days, and you take the child to the doctor, you get told it’s a virus and told to sod off. So you can do bugger all about apart from administer Calpol,  hot milk, whack on the humidifier and give them lots of cuddles to get them through; Lovely when they are wanting snuggly Disney film day, not so much when crying out a 2 hour intervals for mummy or daddy or whoever…

Sickness bugs – said night when I missed my train, I came home faced with a toddler crouched over a bowl with a very tired looking hubby… mummy guilt exhibit 1.  The best bit about this is when you catch it, and you are not only looking after sick child but you have to look after sick you… not easy when you have to belt to the loo every five minutes…

Night terrors – This is the worst of the lot I think… as we have no idea why our toddler is screaming out ‘No, No, No Mummy, that’s mine, superkalifralistic…mm mmm ARGGGGGHHHHH’ in the middle of the night. All the bloody books say leave them, but when they actually sound wide awake you kind of feel like you have to make sure they aren’t stuck under the bed of something. And once you belt to their round (nearly knocking yourself out in the process) and find your angel lying there snoring you start to wonder if you dreamed it… the worst thing about this one is you start to drift off… and then it happens again…so up and repeat…

Of course, I know it’s tough being a toddler / baby – there are so many new things to learn, look at, shove up in our mouths etc… but I am pretty sure they have a chat while me and the unsuspecting hubbie leave the room to plan how they are going to ‘f**k them up tonight’.

As for me… I’m off to find some more coffee and matchsticks so I don’t fall asleep in my next meeting…

Sarah Lloyd

I am a corporate communications professional who has been in the business for over 17 years (gulp). Nearly 3 years ago I embarked on the hardest job of my life, becoming mummy to Lucy, and as it couldn't have been all bad, more recently Amy.

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