How to Have a Happy Baby, Whichever Way You Choose To Feed Them

Charlotte Baird - 11 Dec 15

There has been lots of recent coverage in the British press recently about mothers who feel they have been judged, penalised and even pushed into putting the health of both mummy and baby at serious risk due to the insistence of health care professionals that breast is best, apparently at all costs. Well, as a mummy where breastfeeding failed rather spectacularly with daughter number 1, only to be followed by resounding success with daughter number two, I am here to say it doesn’t matter which way baby is fed. What matters is that baby, mummy and the whole family are coping. A happy, healthy family. And my family is living proof that this can be the case with or without breastfeeding.

I will start by making a basic assumption that every mummy wants the best for her baby. Whether mum chooses to breast feed or bottle feed is irrelevant with regard to the above statement. But for the purposes of the rest of the article, I will assume that mum is willing to give breastfeeding a good go. Now, at no other time in life have I come across a situation when a person has to go through several months of physical, mental and physiological upheaval that is pregnancy, culminating in major surgery if c sections are necessary as they were with my two daughters, immediately following which they are expected to instantly acquire a new and unfamiliar skill that is wholly necessary to provide life to a tiny and utterly helpless human being. When put in such terms, it is no wonder that so many mums set themselves up to fail.

We are led to believe by society that breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world and so therefore should come naturally. A bodily function so innate that it should just happen. And when it doesn’t? A feeling of abject failure. Not what is needed at all whilst trying to work out exactly what to do with the tiny, dependant who has just turned up whilst at the same time wondering exactly what happened to your brain and your life.

So here are my top tips for navigating those early weeks of establishing feeding patterns and settling down as a family unit.

1. Get support. Support to follow the path you decide to take, not a path that you have been pushed down. Friends, relatives, professionals; basically anyone who cares about you and knows how to listen. People who have had experience of feeding difficulties as well as people who may have no experience at all but have the time and kindness needed to support you how you need it. And those who know you well enough to talk sense into you and tell you when enough is enough. As long as your baby is nourished and happy, a bottle may be the way to go when it sometimes just doesn’t work.

2. Persevere. Persevere with what is right for your family but know when to change the game plan. After weeks of unsuccessfully trying to get my first daughter to breastfeed, I eventually fed her a bottle of formula after being admitted to hospital with my second particularly nasty bout of mastitis. And I felt like I was poisoning my baby. After weeks of expressing my milk and trying in vain to get her to latch on so that my baby could get the ‘best start in life,’ all we had was a stressed baby and a sick mummy. With the wonderful benefit of hindsight, I can see how fruitless my endeavours were when daughter number 2 latched on twenty minutes after being delivered without hesitation. Daughter number 1 simply didn’t know how after two days of IV fluids pumped straight to the belly.

3. Try not to be influenced. Influenced by other mothers who post beautiful ‘earth-mother’ style photos on social media of how beautiful the breastfeeding experience is. Sure, it is a truly beautiful experience, but for some reason, I thought the ‘beauty’ would start from day 1. Day 1 we are in the honeymoon period which was quite lovely if you excuse the waking every 90 minutes around the clock to establish those all important feeding patterns. After day 5 came engorgement, cracks, pain and the new social awkwardness of it suddenly being the done thing to get my breast out in public. Not quite so beautiful.

When it comes down to it, breast may be best, but it is not the be all and end all. Do what’s right for your family and as long as everyone is healthy, all good.

Charlotte Baird

I am the Editor of The Australia Times, Parenting. I am a mummy, writer and primary school teacher currently living in Wollongong, Australia with my husband, 2 girls, two cats and one dog.

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