How to Have a Selfish Summer

Kelly Pietrangeli - 31 Jul 15

Do all of those Summer Bucket List blog posts fill you with dread?

85 ways to give your kids a fun-filled summer, including recipes for rainbow pancakes and instructions for making tie-dyed tee shirts, milk-carton boats and backyard bird feeders.

All of this used to fill me with guilt for not being the artsy-crafty, baking kinda mum I felt I ‘should’ be. I have a total glue and glitter phobia and am hopeless at cakes and cookies.

I’m all for my kids having fun and I certainly don’t want them glued to screens all day, but how involved do I really need to be in making sure they have a good time?

Where’s the bucket list for mothers? What about what we want to do?

Mine would include putting my feet up with a really good book. With a cold glass of vino in hand if it’s after wine o’clock.

Waking up late and using a guided meditation app on my phone.

Floating in the pool on one of those blow-up air mattresses, face down, gazing through the clear window at the underwater reflections. No kids shrieking or getting my hair wet.

And as my kids are turning into teenagers, I’m thrilled to report that this is becoming my summer reality.

I wish I could’ve had a crystal ball back when my kids were younger and seen that the lack of baking and arts ‘n crafts didn’t harm them.

They”re fun and creative kids in their own ways. They make hilarious videos, spoofs of commercials or mock interviews with celebrities. They produce a neighbourhood newsletter with funny stories of the goings on in our ‘hood.

My eldest composes music on the piano or creates dance tunes on his computer. My youngest belts on tunes with a microphone and amplifier and takes amazing photos.

And they both love to read. My heart fills with joy when I see them so stuck into a good book that they’re in another world.

All of this came from years of me being super strict about screen time. I’m more relaxed now that they can self-regulate and have formed other hobbies and interests to balance things out. But in those formative years, I held my ground.

I helped them to create a Not Bored Board each summer of things they could do around the house that doesn’t involve a screen. Stuff they could do alone, things they could do together or if a friend came over.

We have a closet filled with card and board games and in the early days I did invest a lot of time in showing them how to play. I modelled how to take turns, play fairly and not get upset over losing. And that investment paid off. Hurrah! 

The kiddie-games paved the way for older, more strategic games and then word games which are my personal favourite.

Now in the summer, when they give me my space to read and relax by doing their own thing, we can come together later on and play a fun game together. Or they’ll grab a book and lay down beside me to read. Bliss.

No, I never made homemade ice cream (store bought cones all the way), nor did I create expansive outdoor games (some sheets pegged to tables made a decent fort), but they appear to be turning out just fine.

I’ve finally dropped the guilt over the things I felt I ‘should’ be doing with my kids and now focus on what I actually enjoy doing.

Game of Boggle or Scattergories anyone?

I’ve created a Me Time worksheet to help you carve out some time to yourself each day – even when the kids are off school.

It’s part of the Project Me ‘Summer Strategy Kit’ filled with 26 printable worksheets and charts to help you have your best summer yet. I’m giving it away for free.

Because every mother deserves a happy summer.

Kelly Pietrangeli

Kelly Pietrangeli is the creator of Project Me for Busy Mothers, helping women find a happier balance between the kids - and everything else. Mixing practicality with self-awareness, Kelly helps mothers get on top of their endless to-do’s and see life beyond the laundry pile. Running on solar power, Kelly lives in Spain with her husband and two teenage boys.

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