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How To Punk Your Kids…
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Some of my favourite ways to mess with my kids. They won’t find it funny forever and I will have to up my game at some point, but for now…
1. Point to something and say ‘Look!’ then put your face really close to theirs so it makes them jump when they turn back.
2. Fart next to them. Remember they are face/bum height at the moment – take advantage of this.
3. Hide in their bed – this is usually a two man prank as one parent supervises teeth brushing while the other goes and buries themselves in their duvet.
4. Wear their sunglasses. Simple
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but effective.
5. Repeat back wrong word eg ‘Please can I have a drink?’ ‘A sock? Why do you want a sock?’
6. When we do ‘make your own pizza’ I give them the list of toppings – when they don’t listen I add in gross stuff until they notice. One time I popped a bit of courgette on, insisted it was slug as they had asked for slug and then ate it when they complained – they were horrified.
7. Tell them we’re going to Tesco, wherever we’re going the answer is Tesco.
8. Write easy sentences on the chalk board ‘you smell of feet’
5. Repeat back wrong word eg ‘Please can I have a drink?’ ‘A sock? Why do you want a sock?’
6. When we do ‘make your own pizza’ I give them the list of toppings – when they don’t listen I add in gross stuff until they notice. One time I popped a bit of courgette on, insisted it was slug as they had asked for slug and then ate it when they complained – they were horrified.
7. Tell them we’re going to Tesco, wherever we’re going the answer is Tesco.
8. Write easy sentences on the chalk board ‘you smell of feet’
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‘bum bum’ ‘mummy is a legend’
9. Sing the wrong words to Frozen – this either incites laughter or rage, it’s a lottery.
10. Make them call me ‘Amazing Mummy’ in public, preferably in front of their friends.
11. Go in for a kiss then pretend to puke down their t-shirt neck.
12. Hide their food when they turn away.
13. Cold hands on their tummies or backs. Oldie but goodie.
14. Put your pants on your head then tell them to hurry up and get their hats on too, it’s cold out.
15. Say their name as if I have something really interesting
9. Sing the wrong words to Frozen – this either incites laughter or rage, it’s a lottery.
10. Make them call me ‘Amazing Mummy’ in public, preferably in front of their friends.
11. Go in for a kiss then pretend to puke down their t-shirt neck.
12. Hide their food when they turn away.
13. Cold hands on their tummies or backs. Oldie but goodie.
14. Put your pants on your head then tell them to hurry up and get their hats on too, it’s cold out.
15. Say their name as if I have something really interesting
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to tell them then when they answer just say ‘Nothing’…
I’m really not looking forward to them outgrowing this incredibly base level of humour, there’s nothing better than a little kid full on uncontrollably giggling. Best. Sound. Ever.
SelfishMother.com
