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Hungover mum revelations
1
Well. I missed you today. Actually, I missed today. I got up dizzy and weak at 2.30pm
Daddy told you I was poorly and you bought me your favourite bear to make me feel better, when I felt like my feet had turned to ice you bought me a blanket. You’re so kind. And I feel awful.
Because I was actually hung over as fuck.
While you played snap with your father I was in the bathroom every 20mins hurling.
While you played with your baby dolls I could hear you from a distance as I tried to stop the room spinning.
While you and dad went out on a lovely
SelfishMother.com
2
woodland walk I was writhing round in agony praying that this was in fact a new kind of hangover headache previously not experienced and not a bleed on the brain.
And while you ate your lunch I was silently singing my self to sleep with ”on the wings of an angel” going round in my head, along with the thought I may never wake up.
It’s 3pm now and I’ve serviced. I’m not dead and your father was right as it turns out, it is: ”a bloody hangover you pisshead” but I’ve also come to some conclusions, aside from the usual ”I will never drink again”
And while you ate your lunch I was silently singing my self to sleep with ”on the wings of an angel” going round in my head, along with the thought I may never wake up.
It’s 3pm now and I’ve serviced. I’m not dead and your father was right as it turns out, it is: ”a bloody hangover you pisshead” but I’ve also come to some conclusions, aside from the usual ”I will never drink again”
SelfishMother.com
3
malarkey the brutal honestly that’s induced when alcohol is coursing through your body poisoning you, scaring you and basically divesting you of any rational thought, is powerful.
I suddenly know that I do drink to often (not usually this much!)
I know that I use food to numb bad thoughts or feelings,
That if I feel angry, sad or lonely I’ll tend to turn on the TV or get lost in a book (always with a bit of cake, a lot of cake, a whole cake)
And that it takes feeling this low for it all to come out. This needs to change. I can’t bring you up doing
I suddenly know that I do drink to often (not usually this much!)
I know that I use food to numb bad thoughts or feelings,
That if I feel angry, sad or lonely I’ll tend to turn on the TV or get lost in a book (always with a bit of cake, a lot of cake, a whole cake)
And that it takes feeling this low for it all to come out. This needs to change. I can’t bring you up doing
SelfishMother.com
4
the same things I need you to know that the best way to handle disappointment or pain is to address it. If someone upsets you TELL THEM. Don’t eat pie instead. Don’t sublimate your rage towards people with cake. Or wine. But that does take guts. People won’t always want to hear it, they won’t always react in a helpful way. There may be lost sleep and broken friendships. But you’re the bravest person I know and hopefully your reward for all that courage will be never holding your pillow and sobbing ”I have been pulled from the wreckage” well into
SelfishMother.com
5
your 30s.
Anyway, now it’s my turn to be brave. I’m going to own my feelings and share them and see what happens.
I won’t be naive enough to tell you never to drink. But I will say this, I’ll always be there to hold your hair, and never go over 1 bottle to yourself.
Your slightly dizzy shame faced mum
X
Anyway, now it’s my turn to be brave. I’m going to own my feelings and share them and see what happens.
I won’t be naive enough to tell you never to drink. But I will say this, I’ll always be there to hold your hair, and never go over 1 bottle to yourself.
Your slightly dizzy shame faced mum
X
SelfishMother.com
