I Am A Genius (And So Are You)

Catherine Péchèr - 11 Feb 20

I have a good education. I did well at school, got a university degree and went on to a good and important vocation. Deep down, I know I’m not stupid. It’s just that lately I’ve been feeling a bit… dumb. Since having my second child and moving country I haven’t had a paid job in two years and sometimes forget that I am an intelligent, creative woman able to think and dream for herself. Well, no longer. I am a halfway decent parent, and that makes me a fully-fledged genius. Just take a look at my résume.

I am the Queen of Mealtimes.

When you look in the kitchen you might only see a battered tin of tomatoes, some dodgy looking veg, and a couple of frozen sausages. I am; however, mealtime royalty and I see a delicious(ish) casserole. I can make a meal out of nothing, pick out vegetables that my children like and use my perfectly pitched persuasion tactics to ensure they actually eat it. All of this is prepared within a couple of episodes of Paw Patrol. Just call me Delia.

I am the Inventor of Fun.

Stuck in a seemingly never ending traffic jam? Waiting to see the nurse in a crowded doctors surgery? Enduring these mind-numbingly boring experiences with the added bonus of small children to entertain? It’s enough to make a grown man (or woman) cry. No tears here though. Like Mary Poppins, my bag is filled with unending delights to entertain and thrill small children. Colouring books and pencils (a few of which don’t even need sharpening)? Check. Stickers they can actually get off the paper by themselves? Check. Snacks that take the longest amount of time to eat? Check. And even if that fails I can do a great line in nursery rhymes and I Spy. Let the fun commence.

I am a Persuasion Artist.

My daughters have a lot of character. They know what they want and when they want it. It takes a true creative genius to persuade them otherwise. Enter Me, the Picasso of persuasion. My youngest child thinks that putting washing away is a valid game, my oldest thinks that if she puts a leaf under her bed and goes to sleep nicely at bedtime then a fairy comes to replace it with a sweet (5p a night well spent). My greatest achievement? Convincing them that a morning spent in pjs, drinking hot chocolate and watching Disney is actually a treat for them.

I am the Master of Preparation.

Going away for a week? A night? A simple day trip? A long haul road trip with three overnight stops in a variety of locations? No problems here. I have a list for every eventuality. I can calculate the necessary number of nappies in seconds, have an instant understanding of how many meals and snacks I will need and know you can never pack too many wipes. Not only that, the clothes may be in jumbled piles and the calpol as far away as from its syringe as physically possible but I instinctively know where all the necessary items are. I can organise, pack and get everyone out of the house in time. No applause please, it comes naturally to me.

I am a Comforter Extraordinaire.

Children are a hive of emotions. Whether it be a scraped knee, a broken biscuit, a friend who doesn’t want to play with them, or just over-tiredness – there are some things that only someone really special can make better. That’s me. My kisses magically fix any injury and I give the best mummy cuddles imaginable. I know when the situation calls for a biscuit and when simple tickles will do the trick. I listen and I care, I know that’s what children (and adults) need the most.

So maybe I do have talent, maybe being a parent takes as much brain power as any other job. Maybe I really am a genius and maybe (and I have an inkling I’m right about this) so are you.

Catherine Péchèr

I’m a midwife, mum of two and recent expat. I love blogging and writing lists about life, parenthood and everything in between. Some are on here but loads more are at greatmindsmakelists.worspress.com or you can find me on Facebook or Instagram.

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