I had a mental breakdown. But it helped me start a new business.

Kim Palmer - 24 Nov 17

Four years ago, while pregnant with my son Louis, I was working in London for a startup called blinkbox. I loved the job so much but it was full on. Six months into my pregnancy, I was working crazy hard – thinking I was Superwoman – and trying to get promoted.

I wasn’t eating properly, didn’t drink enough water and had a coffee. Bad idea.

I then rocked up to a meeting – not even an important one – and had the most full-on panic attack. At the time, I didn’t realise that’s what it was. But one of my colleagues pulled me out, as he recognised what was going on.

My heart was racing, I got verbal diarrhoea… I couldn’t stop talking. I started to panic. I became short of breath. It was embarrassing. I felt awful. But I somehow managed to regain composure, go back into the meeting and finish off.

I used to base my self-worth on being great – able to cope with life’s challenges – so I swept this under the carpet, assuming it would get better. I didn’t do anything about it. But I stopped talking in meetings, as I was worried I’d have another panic attack.

My hope was that I’d go on maternity leave and things would improve. But they actually got much worse. I’d have panic attacks in front of friends, in totally normal situations. By now, it was affecting every aspect of my life.

It was then time to return to work. I decided to leave blinkbox (the company had recently been sold, and I was ready to move on), and start looking for new work. But I had zilch confidence. That’s when I realised I needed help.

Through a friend, I came to meet Georgia Foster – a clinical hypnotherapist who had experience in empowering women. Our first session was amazing. It wasn’t perfect; I knew I’d need to see her again. But I was on the right path.

Over the course of a year, I saw her four times and recorded our sessions on my phone. I listened to them all the time, like if I wasn’t able to sleep. Or when I went back to work, I’d listen to one before doing a big pitch if I needed a confidence boost.

I started to think: this is really interesting, there’s something in this – and began exploring the world of apps for sleep and confidence. I then found a personal coach to help me work on my career objectives.

Together, we decided that now was the time for me to start my own business. I suddenly had clarity. It had been fear stopping me: not that I couldn’t make it work, but that I didn’t have the right idea.

Once I’d decided to do it, the floodgates opened, ideas were flowing in. And it was then, mulling over different potential ideas, that I couldn’t stop thinking about creating an app for women.

I wanted to help women to sleep better, worry less and be their best selves. And so I started working on Clementine. It’s an app made by women, for women – to help them feel more confident and just calmer, in general.

Today I’m better, but it’s a never-ending battle to stay on top of how I’m feeling. The process of creating Clementine has been massively therapeutic and the sessions continue to help me every day.

I’m so excited for other women to start using the app and feeling better too. Mental health is a work-in-progress. So many women suffer with self-doubt, but it doesn’t have to be that way. I hope that Clementine can boost other women, in the way it’s boosted me.

www.clementineapp.co.uk

Kim Palmer

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