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I have had one how hard can more be?????

1
So I had my first child at 22. I can honestly say that I wasn’t ready to become a mother, it was just something that happened. I struggled, badly. Looking back now I probably had a touch of PND not that I or my then partner noticed. When the ex decided he no longer wanted to be a part of my son’s life it was both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because he was gone and a curse because I had to do it all alone. There was nobody to share the crying fits, the tantrums, the potty training. it was awful. Don’t get me wrong there were lots of good moment
SelfishMother.com
2
in there but it was at this point I decided that I was never ever having any more children, ever!!!!!!!!!!!!

So when I reached the age of 30 I was surprised to feel a kind of yearning to have another child. I felt ready and it was what I wanted. My now husband but then boyfriend and I had not been together long when we decided to try for a baby. Pretty soon we fell pregnant and after a long and complicated pregnancy our daughter was born. I felt wonderful. Not only did I have my longed for daughter but I had a partner who shared everything, he really

SelfishMother.com
3
went above and beyond and still does to this day.

People would comment when I had my daughter ’wow look at you, you have 2 kids and your wearing make up and have your hair done’. I couldn’t understand what they meant. My daughter was a wonderful sleeper and with my older son being 8 and pretty much self caring at this point things were pretty easy.

Fast forward to June 2015 when I gave birth to my second son and I experienced a whole different level of pain!!!!! I expected things to be how they were before. How wrong was I?????? Shortly after

SelfishMother.com
4
our son was born our daughter reverted back to wetting and soiling herself. After 2 weeks paternity leave my Husband went back to work and all merry hell broke loose.

I really didn’t think having a third child through properly. I didn’t think about him being born close to the summer holidays. I didn’t think about the potential c section I might have to have and how that would impact the family I just thought ’well it will just be like it was before’. How wrong was I?

So during the summer holidays in between near constant breastfeeding I had an

SelfishMother.com
5
11 year old who was moaning he was board, a 3 year old who kept peeing and pooping her pants and a mental dog who though it was great to vomit everywhere. Life was chaotic and I felt like I was loosing my mind, in reality I probably was (I still haven’t found it).

So we come to now. The peeing still happens every now and then, thank goodness the pooping has stopped (there is nothing worse than trying to clean poop out of knickers). I now have a 12 year old who seems to get a fresh batch of teenage hormones everyday and has strops that rival Kevin the

SelfishMother.com
6
teenager. The breastfeeding stopped, it had to, I couldn’t cope any more, he was going every 2-3 hours round the clock and I was on the verge of being found rocking in a corner. I weaned him early at 4 months and thank god I did. He still doesn’t sleep great. Some nights he will lull us into a false sense of security by having 2 or 3 nights of sleeping right through others he will think its party time at 2am and stay up till 5am. He is currently going through a ’I need to see mummy, be near mummy, cuddle mummy and be held by mummy’ phase which most
SelfishMother.com
7
people are saying ’aw but he just loves you so much’. I swear to god if one more person says that to me I am likely to scream ’YES I AM SURE HE DOES BUT I WANT A F*****G WASH’.

The point I am trying to very unsuccessfully make is this, they say motherhood is different to every person, it is, but its also different with every child you have. I have had 3 children and have had 3 very different experiences of motherhood. How people with 2 children under 2 cope or who have twins is beyond me, I applaud you for just getting out of the house because

SelfishMother.com
8
most days I am dragging my daughter along to nursery looking like she has been dragged through a bush while I am wearing clothes that have various suspicious stains all over them (remember when suspicious stains was a sign of a good night???) with a baby in a sling that has just spent the past hour screaming.

Please don’t assume that just because someone has had 1 or more child/children they know the drill. I used to think that way but now I know that the drill is very different with each addition to the family and with each new addition comes a

SelfishMother.com
9
whole new set of complications that effect the rest of the family. Be kind and when your friend is complaining about her 5 kids driving her mental don’t say ’well you should be a dab had at this now’, smile and listen to her and perhaps offer her a glass or prosecco or some valium (little joke).
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- 9 Feb 16

So I had my first child at 22. I can honestly say that I wasn’t ready to become a mother, it was just something that happened. I struggled, badly. Looking back now I probably had a touch of PND not that I or my then partner noticed. When the ex decided he no longer wanted to be a part of my son’s life it was both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because he was gone and a curse because I had to do it all alone. There was nobody to share the crying fits, the tantrums, the potty training. it was awful. Don’t get me wrong there were lots of good moment in there but it was at this point I decided that I was never ever having any more children, ever!!!!!!!!!!!!

So when I reached the age of 30 I was surprised to feel a kind of yearning to have another child. I felt ready and it was what I wanted. My now husband but then boyfriend and I had not been together long when we decided to try for a baby. Pretty soon we fell pregnant and after a long and complicated pregnancy our daughter was born. I felt wonderful. Not only did I have my longed for daughter but I had a partner who shared everything, he really went above and beyond and still does to this day.

People would comment when I had my daughter ‘wow look at you, you have 2 kids and your wearing make up and have your hair done’. I couldn’t understand what they meant. My daughter was a wonderful sleeper and with my older son being 8 and pretty much self caring at this point things were pretty easy.

Fast forward to June 2015 when I gave birth to my second son and I experienced a whole different level of pain!!!!! I expected things to be how they were before. How wrong was I?????? Shortly after our son was born our daughter reverted back to wetting and soiling herself. After 2 weeks paternity leave my Husband went back to work and all merry hell broke loose.

I really didn’t think having a third child through properly. I didn’t think about him being born close to the summer holidays. I didn’t think about the potential c section I might have to have and how that would impact the family I just thought ‘well it will just be like it was before’. How wrong was I?

So during the summer holidays in between near constant breastfeeding I had an 11 year old who was moaning he was board, a 3 year old who kept peeing and pooping her pants and a mental dog who though it was great to vomit everywhere. Life was chaotic and I felt like I was loosing my mind, in reality I probably was (I still haven’t found it).

So we come to now. The peeing still happens every now and then, thank goodness the pooping has stopped (there is nothing worse than trying to clean poop out of knickers). I now have a 12 year old who seems to get a fresh batch of teenage hormones everyday and has strops that rival Kevin the teenager. The breastfeeding stopped, it had to, I couldn’t cope any more, he was going every 2-3 hours round the clock and I was on the verge of being found rocking in a corner. I weaned him early at 4 months and thank god I did. He still doesn’t sleep great. Some nights he will lull us into a false sense of security by having 2 or 3 nights of sleeping right through others he will think its party time at 2am and stay up till 5am. He is currently going through a ‘I need to see mummy, be near mummy, cuddle mummy and be held by mummy’ phase which most people are saying ‘aw but he just loves you so much’. I swear to god if one more person says that to me I am likely to scream ‘YES I AM SURE HE DOES BUT I WANT A F*****G WASH’.

The point I am trying to very unsuccessfully make is this, they say motherhood is different to every person, it is, but its also different with every child you have. I have had 3 children and have had 3 very different experiences of motherhood. How people with 2 children under 2 cope or who have twins is beyond me, I applaud you for just getting out of the house because most days I am dragging my daughter along to nursery looking like she has been dragged through a bush while I am wearing clothes that have various suspicious stains all over them (remember when suspicious stains was a sign of a good night???) with a baby in a sling that has just spent the past hour screaming.

Please don’t assume that just because someone has had 1 or more child/children they know the drill. I used to think that way but now I know that the drill is very different with each addition to the family and with each new addition comes a whole new set of complications that effect the rest of the family. Be kind and when your friend is complaining about her 5 kids driving her mental don’t say ‘well you should be a dab had at this now’, smile and listen to her and perhaps offer her a glass or prosecco or some valium (little joke).

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