I Take Days Off

SARAH ASLETT - 31 Mar 16

I work five days a week, full time.

Every now and then, every couple of months or so I take a days paid leave from work and spend it on my own.

I could spend it with my Son. But I don’t, I send him off to Nursery as usual.

And so, here’s the thing:

I don’t feel guilty about this, I don’t give a tiny rats-arse. He’s fine, he loves Nursery and he loves his routine.

I need to be alone, just me, where there is silence.

Do you know that during the course of a normal week the only time I get to myself, the only silence I get is on my drive to and home from work? That’s approximately thirty minutes in total.

Everyday, thirty minutes.

I’m not complaining, I’m just explaining.

There’s only been a handful of these days so far, I’ve been back working full time for just over a year now. But as I use one up, I book another in for a couple of months time. I don’t do anything major, I don’t spend all day at a Spa. I don’t run for the hills or disappear into some drink and drugged fueled daze.

I just do whatever I feel like.

I’ve done the food shop, taken a nap, hung up curtains, had my eyebrows waxed. I’ve been to the cinema, I should have cleaned the oven but I didn’t. I’ve stayed home, in my PJ’s and watched an entire season of GIRLS in seven hours.

I write blog posts.

I went to the Mcdonalds drive thru with no bra on.

If I didn’t take this day every now and then, I think I might go crazy. I need to get off schedule, get off everyone elses schedule and just hear my own voice in my head.

I need the silence.

From the moment you step onto that boat of parenthood, every single decision you make is required to be entirely self-less. You must abandon your wants, needs and former self and give everything to another and put their needs first. Couple that with a full time job and your life is no longer your own, you run from one demand to another in a constant state of exhaustion and confusion.

I love it.

It occupies my mind, I’m no longer afraid like I used to be.

But I hate it too and that is why I need these days, every now and then.

Just so I can hear the silence.

SARAH ASLETT

MUM, WIFE, WORKER, CAT LOVER. TRUTH IS I'M A SOCIALLY AWKWARD WINE DRINKER WHO WATCHES TOO MUCH GREY'S ANATOMY AND EATS FAR TOO MUCH CAKE.

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