A Mum at 17…was I too young?

Michelle Pullen - 7 Feb 16

The first comment: “Wow, you don’t look old enough!” – well no, thats because I started having children at 17. It wasn’t a conscious decision, I love my babies, but having children was never my “thing” believe it or not, I wanted the career with a social scene and freedom. I wanted to be an air hostess or a tour guide abroad. I was too short to do the first one and the fact I didn’t get on with languages, hindered the latter. I was at college when I fell pregnant, but continued and had my daughter in the summer holidays (perfectly timed I know!) then returned for my second year (whilst my friend who was studying childcare looked after my daughter) Perfect!.

The first question: “Do they all have the same dad?” (in a quiet hushed voice). OK, so I had my daughter at 17 but does that automatically mean that the other 4 are going to have different dads? I have nothing against families that have different dads, Im from one myself, but why do people presume? Yes my children all have the same father. He has been a constant in their lives and has provided for us every step of the way. He is hardworking and very hands on when it comes to care, discipline and fun.

The second comment: “Oh my goodness, you got married young” Yes I did, I was 20, I decided that the man I had my daughter with was going to be my husband! (no he didn’t really have a choice ha! ha!). Well he did, but it just sort of happened that way. We had an engagement meal –  it was lovely and the only draw back was he forgot to ask me to marry him! (A fact I remind him of all the time ;-)) We didn’t have a big wedding, we went to the registry office. We were only young and on a tight budget. My wedding dress was the biggest bargain. It was brand new and cost £150 out of the local paper. I may have been young with a cheap wedding but we enjoyed it.

Fast forward my journey to 2016, we have been together for 22 years, married for 18 years in July and our eldest daughter is nearly 21. We have survived the prejudice of being young parents and have one of the strongest marriages of anyone I know. Does age matter? No it doesn’t. So why after all this time do I still get asked the same questions and hear the same comments? I know its rare, but why? Maybe we’ve been lucky or maybe it’s because in 22 years we have never argued. Could it be because when we decide something, even as small as one of the kids staying at a friends, we discuss it first? Who knows how we do it and if when we are old we’ll still be sitting on our deck in Cornwall overlooking the sea (a retirement dream!)

All I know is our journey could have started at any age, the fact that we were young is irrelevant. If you’ve got it, you’ve got it.. Simple.

Oh and the fact I didn’t want children…well I’m not sure what happened but after my youngest went to school at 5, I wasn’t ready to stop looking after children, so I now have a successful childminding business. It’s been going for 2 years and I look after 3 x 2 year olds on a daily basis.. But thats a whole other story!.

Michelle Pullen

I am a mum to 5 beautiful, polite, respectful children.. They fill me with pride every single day, just for being them. I am also a wife to 1. He is my one and only, my bestfriend.. I am a Childminder full time, working 50+ hours a week! In my spare time (the 5 minutes in bed before I crash!) I love to read, but have regular date nights to the cinema, out for dinner and just walking or cycling.

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