IF THE GRASS LOOKS GREENER, IT’S PROBABLY…

T.J. Jee - 8 Jul 14

… Astroturf.

Isn’t that such a great phrase? And so true of life. Sometimes for me, sometimes for so many of my friends… it’s easy to think that the grass is greener and our life could be a little better.

On a very base level, most of us are very lucky. We have water, food, a roof over our heads and clothes on our backs. What more could we want? Well, a loving partner, a family, a good job, perhaps a car, a mobile phone, nice holidays, trips to restaurants, the regular mani/pedi/wax etc.

And yet, with all of life’s trimmings, so many of us yearn for more. Or are certainly curious about what else is out there.

I have recently moved to Melbourne from London. After nearly a decade of working in advertising, my husband and I decided that we wanted an adventure and a bit of a life change. Our son, H, is nearly 3 and we felt that now was a good time for the next chapter in our desire for new experiences. And six months on, I can honestly say it’s one of the best things we’ve ever done. Maybe, people think the grass is green where I am.

And, it is… and yet!

A large part of my life has become virtual.

And, these days, we all live great lives online.

I keep in touch with family and friends through Skype, WhatsApp and Facebook. Sharing and coveting images of our angelic children, idyllic landscapes of far-flung holidays or delicious food cooked – there aren’t many candid, just-woken-up photos, or of kids mid-tantrum, food all over the floor. And we’re all guilty of it.

Maybe for a week I’ll try an experiment of unedited, real-life photos – no Astroturf here! I’ll post the first take of a selfie where one eye is shut, and my hair has just been pulled in all directions by H, and where the background is the overflowing laundry basket, instead of the beach with sunshine streaming down on me like a halo.

A lot of my ‘grass is greener’ thinking at the moment is driven by my career. Or what it once was. What if I had that part of my life back? That life of full-time work, being a wife, sister, daughter and friend. Cleaning, cooking, shopping and trying to squeeze in a bit of motherhood on the side.

I had a taste of the ‘old me’ recently – a day of work meetings in Sydney. It was all set up to be a catastrophe with a sick child, lack of sleep and very tight timings. I arrived at the airport 15 minutes before take-off.

Having negotiated my way through security, I then sprinted to the gate with such speed I think I set a record of some sort. And consequently had to sit down for fear of throwing up on my fellow passengers. Cursing silently, I wondered why I was bothering at all. In this case, is the grass definitely greener? Do I really want that?

To end on the grass-analogy, the short answer is YES, I do want that.

I felt so good after that day of meetings. I had more energy, patience and love for H (and my husband!). Even though my shins hurt after wearing boots not Converse. I’ll happily take on new adventures alongside motherhood, if I can have some of the seemingly super-shiny stuff of my old life back. For a bit of balance. A slice of who I was before I was a mother, before my life of two became three.

Sometimes, maybe spying someone else’s green grass is what spurs us on, don’t you agree?

T.J. Jee

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