I’m not a bad mum – I want to work

Kelly Edwards - 25 Nov 15

The clock is ticking and I’m on my final month of being ‘just’ a mum.

I’ve had an amazing few months off but in January I head back to my day job. Actually, I’m pretty excited about it. Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mother and spending time with my daughter, but I’m looking forward to going back and I’m not ashamed by it.

Having it all

Going back to work part time is my ‘having it all’.

But the statement of ‘having it all’ seems to put a lot of pressure on us mums. It defines that we should do everything – or all things – and we apparently can’t get it right even if it’s the right decision for our family.

My ‘having it all’ will be completely different to yours or to your friends. Being able to work part time is perfect for me. I can still get some income, play an important role in my work and not ‘have’ to talk about 50 shades of poop or play happy and you know it for the 99th time of the day in an effort to get my daughter to learn how to clap.

But I bet there are many parents who will judge my decision, even though it’s the right one for us.

judgement

As with many aspects of parenthood, there seems to be two polar attitudes when it comes to the topic of going back to work. Those that think that going to work is the biggest injustice you can do to your child which will scar them for life and those that can’t wait to go back.

For some odd reason, these camps are at war with one another, even though each is entitled to their own opinion and each parent will make their own informed decision about it – just as I did.

I’m not going to start hating people for staying at home with their child fulltime – if they enjoy it and/or it’s the best thing to do for their child at that time, then that is fantastic. Good for you.

But equally, I shouldn’t be shunned for going back to work – not only because the money will be ace, but also because I want to go back. Why should I feel bad for wanting to go back to work?

Not a bad mum

Quite simply, I’m not a bad mum for wanting to go back to work.

I’m not neglecting my daughter and she won’t miss out. It’s impossible to break our mother-daughter bond. Yeah, I’m a bit sad that I may miss a few firsts, but that’s just life. When she does it for me for the first time she will feel even prouder when I praise her for it.

When she’s a teenager, she’s not going to think less of me as a mother for going back to work when she was 9 months old and there will be no difference in her skills or aptitude than those kids that stayed at home till they were older. She won’t segregate her friends based on whether they attended nursery or not. She won’t care.

So let’s stop the hate and judgement about going back to work. Do what you want and need to do for your family and appreciate that the mother next to you may have a different opinion. And that’s okay.

Kelly Edwards

Mother to one scrummy little lady, serial blogger, cereal eater, cake devourer, lives in Northamptonshire.

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