In praise of Grandma

Molly Whitehead-Jones - 10 Sep 15

All mums are worthy of praise, but I believe that mine sets the bar especially high.

We have been a tight unit my entire life. She is the one person I can totally rely on (sorry, Husband) and always knows what I need better than I do, whether that’s a firm talking to or a cuddle. We have the best, most rewarding mother-daughter connection I could imagine, and now that I’m a Mum I actually find that I’m rather intimidated by her legacy: how can I possibly do as good a job myself?

The last year has tested us both. During my pregnancy, she told me she couldn’t help being more worried about me – her own baby – than about the welfare of the little one growing inside of me. She lived every moment of the nine and a bit months too, from the very first scan to those difficult last 11 days of overdueness.

I knew I would need her by my side during labour. The moment I heard her voice in the hallway of the ward, I felt instantly calmer. Now though, knowing myself what it feels like to see your child in distress, I wish I’d given a bit more prior thought to the effect it would have on her; watching me go through so much – and ultimately seeing me wheeled off for an unexpected caesarean – must have been terrifically hard. Not that she ever once flinched from any of it; she was too focussed on me to think of herself.

Predictably, from the moment Elliot entered the world, she became the best of grandmas too and an invaluable source of strength throughout those very tricky first few weeks. The day that the midwife told me he was dangerously underweight and I went into a spiral of panic, she dropped everything to rush to my side and talk me through the trauma. Even now, she remains constantly on standby, calling for daily updates on his latest sleep patterns and dirty nappies.

She is no nonsense in the best possible way. She does not try and take over or criticise my care and loves her Grandson in a generous yet measured manner, giving me the chance to continue to find my feet with him but with the knowledge that I always have backup if things get too tough.

Though I’ve always known she was special, having my own baby has lent me a new appreciation for just how much she’s done for me. Right now, it is very hard to imagine that one day I will be helping Elliot take his first steps, dropping him off for his first day at school, seeing him off to uni – a time when the all-consuming love I already have for him will be compounded by worry upon worry about how he’ll get on in this world. Yet she has seen me through all of that and more besides.

I am so looking forward to raising my little boy with her around, seeing their relationship develop and flourish.

I’ve noticed that Elliot already seems to save his biggest smiles for her. I really don’t blame him.

Molly Whitehead-Jones

Molly Whitehead-Jones is a first-time mum living in Manchester and founder of Mamas Collective, a mums group that offers meetups, workshops & events for savvy, super-cool mamas who love their kids but won’t let motherhood hold them back.

View profile for posts, events and more info