Is birth prep becoming a bumpy ride?
1
Congratulations, you’re pregnant! Amazing news! Will it be a boy or a girl? When’s it due? Where are you giving birth? Have you got any names yet? Now bring on the millions of pieces of advice, suggestions, book recommendations, oh wait, better enrol on NCT, find a hypnobirthing course, find a pregnancy yoga class, read this, no read that…is your head spinning?
Lately I have seen a shift in birth preparation. Women seem to think that they have to do something to give birth. Get informed, get aligned, breathe in a certain way, like
SelfishMother.com
2
they’re taking a test they need to pass. Everyone seems to have forgotten that birth is a natural process, as natural for the body as going to the loo, it is a bodily urge to release your baby and bring them into the world. You don’t have to do anything.
Women sadly, are part of a system. A system that has policies and protocols and timelines and statistics and this all takes a woman away from herself. Other people are telling her what is going on with her body almost straight away. I’ve heard of so many women absolutely sure of their
SelfishMother.com
3
conception dates and therefore due date and the hospital gives them a completely different date and they immediately feel confused, disorientated within their own body. It takes them away from the trust they can have in their body. A trust where they can tune in and listen. Where they can find strength and feel safe.
This is where the birth preparation does come in…to allay fears and worries and undo all the misinformation and misrepresentation surrounding birth. This is why we need to work at it because we have bred a world of fear. One
SelfishMother.com
4
worry of many women is how they will react to the pain and will they scream? I’ve supported many births as a doula and noone has ever screamed…roared, moaned, vocalised, yes but not screamed. Screaming comes from not knowing what to do with the intense feelings of birth and being scared. With the right comfort measures and support, your body can relax into it. It might be big, but it’s you. Your amazing body doing it’s thing. But because of the Media, and programmes like One Born Every Minute, showing birth to be scary, there is a lot to
SelfishMother.com
5
undo. Hypnobirthing is on the rise because women do need something outside of themselves to birth without fear because modern society is not supporting women to believe in themselves.
However it can be far simpler. It comes down to one thing, your breath.
If you know that simply by breathing in a deep and focused way, you can calm your nervous system, relax your body and soothe your mind then you can get back in touch with yourself.
Can you remember a time when you really knew yourself, knew what you wanted, listened to yourself? I think
SelfishMother.com
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most of us can. It may be a really long time ago, maybe as far back as when you were a girl but there is likely to be a time before everyone else’s opinion mattered more than your own. A time when you could make decisions easily because you knew what you wanted. Decisions can be hard now because there is so much choice. The best way to know what’s right for you is to listen to your body. Our body always knows and during pregnancy you are at your most sensitive and intuitive time. However these days women are so in their heads with busyness
SelfishMother.com
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and overwhelm, they’re not as connected, they can’t hear what their body has to offer.
The best way to understand what you need is to reconnect. Get into your body and out of your head as much as you can. Birth is up to your body, your mind just needs to get out of the way. Meditation, mindfulness, breathing, yoga, walking, swimming, journalling, all these things can help you stay more grounded and out of the giant thought cloud in your brain. It can also bring a presence and a trust like nothing else. If you trust yourself, your body and
SelfishMother.com
8
know that everything is your choice, that’s all you need to know.
Doula love
Jenna
x
@theminimalistdoula
www.theminimalistdoula.com
SelfishMother.com
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Jenna Rutherford - 9 Jul 18
Congratulations, you’re pregnant! Amazing news! Will it be a boy or a girl? When’s it due? Where are you giving birth? Have you got any names yet? Now bring on the millions of pieces of advice, suggestions, book recommendations, oh wait, better enrol on NCT, find a hypnobirthing course, find a pregnancy yoga class, read this, no read that…is your head spinning?
Lately I have seen a shift in birth preparation. Women seem to think that they have to do something to give birth. Get informed, get aligned, breathe in a certain way, like they’re taking a test they need to pass. Everyone seems to have forgotten that birth is a natural process, as natural for the body as going to the loo, it is a bodily urge to release your baby and bring them into the world. You don’t have to do anything.
Women sadly, are part of a system. A system that has policies and protocols and timelines and statistics and this all takes a woman away from herself. Other people are telling her what is going on with her body almost straight away. I’ve heard of so many women absolutely sure of their conception dates and therefore due date and the hospital gives them a completely different date and they immediately feel confused, disorientated within their own body. It takes them away from the trust they can have in their body. A trust where they can tune in and listen. Where they can find strength and feel safe.
This is where the birth preparation does come in…to allay fears and worries and undo all the misinformation and misrepresentation surrounding birth. This is why we need to work at it because we have bred a world of fear. One worry of many women is how they will react to the pain and will they scream? I’ve supported many births as a doula and noone has ever screamed…roared, moaned, vocalised, yes but not screamed. Screaming comes from not knowing what to do with the intense feelings of birth and being scared. With the right comfort measures and support, your body can relax into it. It might be big, but it’s you. Your amazing body doing it’s thing. But because of the Media, and programmes like One Born Every Minute, showing birth to be scary, there is a lot to undo. Hypnobirthing is on the rise because women do need something outside of themselves to birth without fear because modern society is not supporting women to believe in themselves.
However it can be far simpler. It comes down to one thing, your breath.
If you know that simply by breathing in a deep and focused way, you can calm your nervous system, relax your body and soothe your mind then you can get back in touch with yourself.
Can you remember a time when you really knew yourself, knew what you wanted, listened to yourself? I think most of us can. It may be a really long time ago, maybe as far back as when you were a girl but there is likely to be a time before everyone else’s opinion mattered more than your own. A time when you could make decisions easily because you knew what you wanted. Decisions can be hard now because there is so much choice. The best way to know what’s right for you is to listen to your body. Our body always knows and during pregnancy you are at your most sensitive and intuitive time. However these days women are so in their heads with busyness and overwhelm, they’re not as connected, they can’t hear what their body has to offer.
The best way to understand what you need is to reconnect. Get into your body and out of your head as much as you can. Birth is up to your body, your mind just needs to get out of the way. Meditation, mindfulness, breathing, yoga, walking, swimming, journalling, all these things can help you stay more grounded and out of the giant thought cloud in your brain. It can also bring a presence and a trust like nothing else. If you trust yourself, your body and know that everything is your choice, that’s all you need to know.
Doula love
Jenna
x
@theminimalistdoula
www.theminimalistdoula.com
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On my journey as a mother, doula and yogi, I have found a way to create space in birth and motherhood to breathe...my hope is that I can help others find this too and let the light in.
doula love Jenna x
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