Is the sisterhood out there?

Charlotte Baird - 11 Jul 16

For a long time now, I have wondered whether the sisterhood exists. I hope it does, but I am doubtful. I have seen some evidence of it and it seems to exist for some. To me, the ‘sisterhood’ implies my peer group, those women I considered friends and were young mothers themselves. Women my age, experiencing the same stages of their lives.

There have been a few things that have got me questioning the so called ‘sisterhood’ out there of late. As an expat Brit, I admit to having paid little attention to the aftermath of the Brexit campaign and the ensuing wrangling for Tory leadership. I was pretty shocked at the Brexit vote, but this is not what the post is about. What shocked me was that, according to media reports, the fact that one woman in the battle to lead the country is a mother and the other is not.

Instead of leading with the qualifications that the two women might, or might not, have to make them politically capable, I felt disappointed and deeply saddened that the two women’s child-bearing prowess was even an issue.  I don’t remember this being brought to the forefront for male politicians.

As a mother who has endured the indescribable pain that miscarriage brings and the subsequent, all be it temporary in my case, crippling fear that I might never be able to carry a child, my heart hurt for Theresa May and the heartbreak she described at not being able to have children. What on earth does it have to with her ability to lead the country and do her job as a politician? I understand the issue was brought to the forefront as her rival discussed how being a mother ‘gave her the edge.’ Well, motherhood certainly gives life another perspective and changes everything; it would be silly to think otherwise.

But to use deeply personal issues to grab a headline? To assume that you can somehow imagine how the other person might feel and to use their personal grief for political gains? It doesn’t surprise me, but it does sadden me. I have seen it myself.

The support I received at the height of my baby loss despair came from entirely unexpected sources, male and female. The so called ‘sisterhood’ turned their backs; those I expected to be there and to understand left me high and dry, afraid my pain somehow affected them and told me I was dealing with my grief ‘in the wrong way.’  I will never forget those people who were there for me when I needed it the most. But it wasn’t ‘sisterhood.’

Charlotte Baird

I am the Editor of The Australia Times, Parenting. I am a mummy, writer and primary school teacher currently living in Wollongong, Australia with my husband, 2 girls, two cats and one dog.

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