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Isolation is very familier

1
Isolation is exactly like being a mother of toddlers. I have two children 18 months apart and isolation is the norm. Monotony. Constant worry. No money. Cooking, cleaning, and wearing shitty clothes. Exhausted from just existing. Never working harder or being more compassionate but still getting dinner thrown (literally) in your face. One stressful daily walk. No apparent end in sight.
I feel genuinely sorry for those who had amazing lives full of travels and excitement before the lockdown. Most of them at least seem to appreciate what they had now.
SelfishMother.com
2
Their glamours, cultured life has been reduced to four walls and jogging bottoms. Gucci or not – joggers are joggers. I do not need to mourn such a life because ever since I have given birth, isolation is my reality. There are no girly weekends away, no dinner parties, or lazy Sunday pub roast dinners. Evenings out strictly BEST friends with a big birthday (Age ending in a zero) or bridesmaid at a wedding. With no salary and babysitter approx £12 per hour (plus uber) the evenings’ food and drink (plus uber) it is not finically feasible.
Not to mention
SelfishMother.com
3
waking 6 am with just 4 hours sleep and a hangover that lasted 3 days meaning a rather moody mummy.
Something I am taking shameful joy in – alcohol. Aside from the freedom to just ’pop’ anywhere, the loneness and constant child companionship made me crave anything adult. Or oblivion. And wine fitted this category perfectly. Over time one glass becomes one bottle and sometimes more if I had it in the house. No doubt I was consuming far too much. Consciously – but still far too much. Of course, I abided by all the silly rules one sets oneself to
SelfishMother.com
4
‘feel better’ about the habit like – ’not before dinner time’ and ‘don’t drink in front of them’.
I love how within literally days it was the global norm to drink every evening for not only a ‘release’ but for something to do. Even the ‘I never drink alone’ brigade succumbed within days. It took me at least 6 months because of the breastfeeding. I felt such shame and disgust with myself for looking forward to and ENJOYING my solo drinking at night that this is, I’m sorry to say a wonderful revelation that I was not ‘weak’ or
SelfishMother.com
5
‘pathetic’ as I so labeled myself – but normal. Just deliciously average.
While I wish no one to suffer, be lonely or sick, I hope we will all no longer take for granted the freedom we once had and will hopefully soon, have again.
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- 28 Apr 20

Isolation is exactly like being a mother of toddlers. I have two children 18 months apart and isolation is the norm. Monotony. Constant worry. No money. Cooking, cleaning, and wearing shitty clothes. Exhausted from just existing. Never working harder or being more compassionate but still getting dinner thrown (literally) in your face. One stressful daily walk. No apparent end in sight.
I feel genuinely sorry for those who had amazing lives full of travels and excitement before the lockdown. Most of them at least seem to appreciate what they had now. Their glamours, cultured life has been reduced to four walls and jogging bottoms. Gucci or not – joggers are joggers. I do not need to mourn such a life because ever since I have given birth, isolation is my reality. There are no girly weekends away, no dinner parties, or lazy Sunday pub roast dinners. Evenings out strictly BEST friends with a big birthday (Age ending in a zero) or bridesmaid at a wedding. With no salary and babysitter approx £12 per hour (plus uber) the evenings’ food and drink (plus uber) it is not finically feasible.
Not to mention waking 6 am with just 4 hours sleep and a hangover that lasted 3 days meaning a rather moody mummy.
Something I am taking shameful joy in – alcohol. Aside from the freedom to just ‘pop’ anywhere, the loneness and constant child companionship made me crave anything adult. Or oblivion. And wine fitted this category perfectly. Over time one glass becomes one bottle and sometimes more if I had it in the house. No doubt I was consuming far too much. Consciously – but still far too much. Of course, I abided by all the silly rules one sets oneself to ‘feel better’ about the habit like – ‘not before dinner time’ and ‘don’t drink in front of them’.
I love how within literally days it was the global norm to drink every evening for not only a ‘release’ but for something to do. Even the ‘I never drink alone’ brigade succumbed within days. It took me at least 6 months because of the breastfeeding. I felt such shame and disgust with myself for looking forward to and ENJOYING my solo drinking at night that this is, I’m sorry to say a wonderful revelation that I was not ‘weak’ or ‘pathetic’ as I so labeled myself – but normal. Just deliciously average.
While I wish no one to suffer, be lonely or sick, I hope we will all no longer take for granted the freedom we once had and will hopefully soon, have again.

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