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View as: GRID LIST

It’s like talking to a brick wall…

1
When I’m with my two boys I spend the majority of time on repeat.

Take a typical term-time morning:

Half an hour before school [said in a calm, kind, not-in-a-rush way]: ’Go and get changed, please.’
Ten minutes later [said in a more frustrated, clock-checking tone]: ’Why aren’t you dressed yet? Go and get changed!’
Fifteen minutes later [said with a starting-to-lose-the-plot edge]: ’I’ve told you a hundred times to go and get dressed; now go and get changed!’
Five minutes before we have to leave [said in a scary-mummy-about-to-explode

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voice]: ’Right. If you don’t get changed now, then you can go to school in your pyjamas and tell the headmistress why you’re so late! Now. Go. And. Get. CHANGED!’

See, they just don’t listen.

And when they get home it’s the same:

Supper time: ’Your supper’s ready. Come and sit down please.’
Five minutes later: ’Come and sit down, now!’
Seven minutes later [and the food I’ve slaved away making is now getting cold]: ’Right, if you don’t come now I’m giving it to the dog!’
Eight minutes later: ’Sit. Down. Now!’
Nine minutes

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later: ’If you don’t sit down and eat your food they’ll be no Netflix for a week – I mean it! [I never do…].

Usually the above ends with my eldest asking ’What is it?’ and then ’Yuk! I hate that!’ once he finds out. But that’s a whole other grievance…

A quick scour of the internet and the main advice on how to make your child listen is:
1) Avoid nagging.
2) Don’t lecture them with long sentences – use one-word instructions instead (ie, ’Clothes!’, ’Supper!’).
3) Make eye contact rather than shouting from another room.
4) Stay

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upbeat and don’t make threats.

A friend of mine also suggests taking the comedic route. She swears by tickling her children and doing a funky-chicken dance in front of them whenever she wants them to do something. Apparantly this gets their full attention and they can’t help but listen to what she’s saying.

So it looks like I’ve hands-up failed in the ’how to deal with your child’s selective hearing’ department. In fact, the way I’ve handled it has probably made it worse over the years.

Maybe now’s the time to start following the above

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advice and transform my boys into attentive, all-ears little angels – though I may just stop at doing a funky chicken…
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By

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- 13 Oct 16

When I’m with my two boys I spend the majority of time on repeat.

Take a typical term-time morning:

Half an hour before school [said in a calm, kind, not-in-a-rush way]: ‘Go and get changed, please.’
Ten minutes later [said in a more frustrated, clock-checking tone]: ‘Why aren’t you dressed yet? Go and get changed!’
Fifteen minutes later [said with a starting-to-lose-the-plot edge]: ‘I’ve told you a hundred times to go and get dressed; now go and get changed!’
Five minutes before we have to leave [said in a scary-mummy-about-to-explode voice]: ‘Right. If you don’t get changed now, then you can go to school in your pyjamas and tell the headmistress why you’re so late! Now. Go. And. Get. CHANGED!

See, they just don’t listen.

And when they get home it’s the same:

Supper time: ‘Your supper’s ready. Come and sit down please.’
Five minutes later: ‘Come and sit down, now!’
Seven minutes later [and the food I’ve slaved away making is now getting cold]: ‘Right, if you don’t come now I’m giving it to the dog!’
Eight minutes later: ‘Sit. Down. Now!
Nine minutes later: ‘If you don’t sit down and eat your food they’ll be no Netflix for a week – I mean it! [I never do…].

Usually the above ends with my eldest asking ‘What is it?’ and then ‘Yuk! I hate that!’ once he finds out. But that’s a whole other grievance…

A quick scour of the internet and the main advice on how to make your child listen is:
1) Avoid nagging.
2) Don’t lecture them with long sentences – use one-word instructions instead (ie, ‘Clothes!’, ‘Supper!’).
3) Make eye contact rather than shouting from another room.
4) Stay upbeat and don’t make threats.

A friend of mine also suggests taking the comedic route. She swears by tickling her children and doing a funky-chicken dance in front of them whenever she wants them to do something. Apparantly this gets their full attention and they can’t help but listen to what she’s saying.

So it looks like I’ve hands-up failed in the ‘how to deal with your child’s selective hearing’ department. In fact, the way I’ve handled it has probably made it worse over the years.

Maybe now’s the time to start following the above advice and transform my boys into attentive, all-ears little angels – though I may just stop at doing a funky chicken…

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Fiona Pennell lives in the Cotswolds with her husband and their two boys, Jack, 6, and Otto, 4. A former YOU magazine sub-editor, Fiona now spends her days being trampled on, going on slug hunts and dreaming of lie-ins. (Twitter: @fiona_pennell)

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