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We love our son. He is playful and affectionate. He is inquisitive and kind. He is generous with his cuddles and loves interacting with other children. He says please and thanks, and praises us constantly (’well done Mum!’, ’that’s great!’).
We love our son. But he is aggressive and mean. He is destructive and stubborn. He hits and he bites and he attacks other children unprovoked. He refuses to say sorry and shouts ’NO!’.
This second personality has only appeared recently. We are at a loss as to what to do. We say ’no!’ firmly. We
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explain that what he’s done is wrong/ has hurt us/ makes us sad. We tell him that he needs to say sorry. We attempt to distract him. We ignore him (when appropriate). We offer him extra cuddles and reassurance. But nothing seems to work…
We don’t know what has brought it on. Is it his age? His hormones? Is this the ’terrible twos’ that people speak of? Is it because we’ve sent him to nursery? Has he learnt it there? Or is he unsettled by the change? Is it because he knows there’s more change to come (with the pending arrival of his little
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brother)?
Whatever it is, we feel helpless. We feel scared to take him out. Embarrassed. Ashamed. We feel acutely aware of the disapproving looks and the unspoken judgements.
Please tell us this is normal? That it is just a phase? That it will be over soon? And if there is anything more we can or should be doing to prevent it? We just want our lovely little boy back!
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Orla - 27 Mar 17
We love our son. He is playful and affectionate. He is inquisitive and kind. He is generous with his cuddles and loves interacting with other children. He says please and thanks, and praises us constantly (‘well done Mum!’, ‘that’s great!’).
We love our son. But he is aggressive and mean. He is destructive and stubborn. He hits and he bites and he attacks other children unprovoked. He refuses to say sorry and shouts ‘NO!’.
This second personality has only appeared recently. We are at a loss as to what to do. We say ‘no!’ firmly. We explain that what he’s done is wrong/ has hurt us/ makes us sad. We tell him that he needs to say sorry. We attempt to distract him. We ignore him (when appropriate). We offer him extra cuddles and reassurance. But nothing seems to work…
We don’t know what has brought it on. Is it his age? His hormones? Is this the ‘terrible twos’ that people speak of? Is it because we’ve sent him to nursery? Has he learnt it there? Or is he unsettled by the change? Is it because he knows there’s more change to come (with the pending arrival of his little brother)?
Whatever it is, we feel helpless. We feel scared to take him out. Embarrassed. Ashamed. We feel acutely aware of the disapproving looks and the unspoken judgements.
Please tell us this is normal? That it is just a phase? That it will be over soon? And if there is anything more we can or should be doing to prevent it? We just want our lovely little boy back!
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Stay-at-home mother to a small boy, wife to a funny man, cooking up baby #2.
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