Journeying into Anti Racism

Katie - 2 Jun 20

I’ve always thought of myself as anti racist, automatically, because of my world view about humanity and injustice. It never occurred to me that I might need to learn about it. I absolutely believe that all people are equal, believing it is enough, isn’t it?

In the last year I have witnessed two incidents of race related police interactions. A black ex-colleague was stopped by the police in his expensive car with private number plate. It was mid afternoon outside the school where we worked. He told them he was a Deputy Head at the school and the police officer said ‘you don’t look like a Deputy Head Teacher’.

Leaving work I saw police on the street. Looking back to see what was happening I realized it was a stop and search of a young teenage black boy. He was alone, three large white men surrounding him in the dark. As they let him go he could barely stop himself from running, fear on his face.

Both of these situations made me boil with rage. If that happened to me could I control myself? Imagine sending your child out in the morning knowing the public and police are more likely to think they are a threat, a criminal because of the colour of their skin.

A third more insidious example of racism I have seen in my own home. My four year old ‘white presenting’ daughter, when talking about a tv show or book we are looking at, without fail, chooses the white girl/princess/fairy as her favourite. When she asks me I always choose the princess of colour. My favourite Disney princess: Tiana. Her favourite Disney princess: Snow White, Cinderella, Aurora, Rapunzel and Belle. Sometimes I thinks she’s doing it to piss me off. Her latest interest has been dress up sticker books. I realized she wasn’t dressing the black girls. I asked her why and she said she didn’t like them. I said, ‘but they’re beautiful’ and she disagreed. I pointed out that they were all the girls who didn’t have white skin and she knew. We spoke gently about how that’s not okay… but what the actual f*ck? Where did she get that from? She’s been on the planet four years. Her first doll was black. Her first friend is black. How has this infiltrated my home?

Maybe, watching the news, racist America feels far away. It is not. The children at the school where I work are more likely to be excluded, go to prison and be unemployed and are less likely to pass their exams, go to university or get a job because of the colour of their skin. They are more likely to be murdered. Because of the colour of their skin.

Unless we make a decision to pay attention to the knowledge and experiences of our black citizens nothing will change. Black people can not change the system alone by prizing it from firmly clenched fists of people in power who want to preserve their privileged status quo, whilst the rest of us look away, holding onto our own handfuls of privilege and comfort. White people, we have to give it up.

I said at the beginning, believing in equality is enough isn’t it? As I’ve written this I realize I fulfill so many ‘but I’m not a racist’ stereotypes. Justifying ourselves and trying to feel good, hoping we aren’t racist by believing hard enough is not enough. Believing in unicorns doesn’t make them real. If I want a unicorn I’ll have to do some serious work, get into genetics, cross breed horses with narwhals? Believing in equality doesn’t make it real. We have to do the work.

When asked why white people don’t need to feel guilty during an interview on White Fragility, Robin DiAngelo said:
‘you didn’t choose your socialization, you didn’t choose your conditioning, you were born into a society that set you up in these ways. You don’t need to feel guilty unless you know that and you’re not doing anything about it’.

Let’s not self flagellate. This is not about us. Let’s be kind to ourselves but not excuse ourselves. Let’s do what we can.

Katie

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