Just be proud of who you are, whoever you are!

Suzanne Tanner - 20 Feb 16

I am 39. I am a mother of 4. I have been a teen mum ( I was 18), and one of those ‘must be mad’ mums that have 3 under 3 in your 30s. I have been a single mother and a married mother (My husband and I have been together 15 yrs, had 3 children first then got married just 3 years ago). I have been a career mother for 20 years and I am currently a stay at home mum. I have been a student mum and a director of a company. I have exclusively breastfed, and I have exclusively bottle fed. I had 4 C sections, 1 emergency and the rest elective. I don’t judge others, and I don’t expect to be judged. Never complain, never explain has always been something that I identify with.

As a teenage mum I decided that I would not be a stereotype. I would work hard, carry on studying and not give anyone a reason to look down at me. I also wanted to be an inspiration for my daughter (ironically, but that is another story).

I did my A levels, and went to a local university where I got a 2:1 in Business & Finance. To support my studies I worked 3 part time jobs and lived on fresh air. When I graduated, I felt like I could be anything I wanted to be. From there I was on a graduate scheme with Cadbury’s. Rather than hold me back, having a young daughter in tow demonstrated a determination, energy and resilience and started to open doors for me. I went on to work in the Mars sales team before being part of a start up business which I ran for 10 years (not taking any maternity leave when I had the younger children).

2 years ago, tired of juggling a career with young children and a challenging teen, I trained as a Pilates Instructor so that I could be a bit more flexible with working hours (no pun intended) and be able to embrace meeting the needs and demands of a family.

The less hours I worked, the more hours I found to fill with ‘looking after’ the family – to the point where I felt forced to step back from teaching and concentrate solely on being a stay at home mum. It was right for me and my family at this time, so why have I struggled with the adjustment?

It is because the title ‘Stay at Home Mum’ does not reflect the journey that you have taken prior to this choice. What you used to be is irrelevant. Your career and achievements are forgotten, replaced with a look of envy (your husband keeps you and you don’t have to work!) or a look of disdain (that’s all you do?!). You really can’t win, but then who’s approval do you need?

What I have learnt from my years of being a mother is that you have to find what works for you and stick with it; be patient, be positive, laugh where you could cry, show love & appreciation for your family, express gratitude for your situation, keep up your friendships, and always have ‘you time’ in your week.

Suzanne Tanner

hockey playing pilates instructing mcfc loving business running wine drinking mother of 4

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