JUST DON’T MENTION THE ‘S’ WORD…

Lynn Li - 7 Jan 15

Dave and Sam Cam’s decision to send their daughter to a state school has understandably made headlines. Nancy Cameron was destined for the over-subscribed, selective, seriously posh Grey Court Hospital Academy ever since the Tories started cooking up their General Election campaign. Whatever the Cameron’s motives are (*coughs*…focus groups) you can’t blame them.

When it comes to your child’s education choices, you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

The holidays meant that my family undertook what can only be described as ‘extreme-socialising’ cramming in as many get-together’s as Mr R’s liver would allow. I’m as guilty as the next person for bringing up schools when talking to other parents but not anymore, I’m over it already. My only resolution this year is not to go there.

Over the past two weeks I discovered that whatever patter you trot out, be it proximity to home, Ofsted, league tables, state Vs fee-paying, church, special needs, curriculum blah blah blah…the person you are talking to will be listening and simultaneously placing you in one or more of the following groups:

a) P.L.U (People-Like-Us)

b) social climbing psychopath

c) rich social climbing psychopath

d) pseudo-intellectual champagne socialist

e) socialist verging on communist

f) over privileged

g) under privileged

h) neglectful

i) hypocrite

j) Boring.

We ALL do it, even if we don’t mean to, it’s ingrained. Our education system is so intricately weaved into the British political class system that such conversations between parents can often be thinly veiled social filters or just another cause for oneupmanship (yawn).

Most of the school chats I’ve had were useful and light-hearted but on a few occasions I could feel my blood slowly simmering and disappointment fall as the person you thought was PLU came across as a mean-spirited snob with a tinge of racism.

The choices people make for their children are extremely personal and no one has the right to judge or should be judged. I know of a instance where two families fell out over the old State Vs Private debate as if the parents declared “the local state school secondary might be good enough for your kids but it’s not for mine.” That, of course, was not the case, they worked late a lot, the son liked the after school sports and they could afford it, end of.

Listen ladies, no one is thinking of your feelings when they are considering their options for their children’s education… it really isn’t about you. Each and every family is different, and some parents may spend months, years, thinking about their children’s schooling… while others may just pick the closest school to their house, get on with life, and feel guilty for NOT worrying about it enough.

There are millions of families in other countries who lack any kind of educational infrastructure and kids who would love to learn but their parents can’t afford it and put them to work instead – when you consider this, it’s easy move away from the conversation.

I suggest you bring up Religion instead. Only joking…

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Lynn Li

Lynn is a London based freelance PR, blogger, cameraman wag and mother to 2 year old Fergus. Having travelled planet earth for many years working in film and TV publicity, Lynn jacked it all in to spend more time at home. To avoid getting bitter and bored in between freelance gigs, she started blogging about her life, her loves and her comings and goings.

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