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Just one ?
1
Just one ?
When I got married I pictured a family of two children arguing, playing and growing up as companions and friends. Both my husband and I come from large families and we are both close to our siblings and count them as friends in our adult life. I couldn’t think of anything better than the joy of watching my son love and laugh with some siblings. However life happened, I grew up and had to become an adult not a dreamer.
Of course I worry what mum doesn’t? Will he be spoilt, a loner or worse never come and see me at Christmas! What do I say
When I got married I pictured a family of two children arguing, playing and growing up as companions and friends. Both my husband and I come from large families and we are both close to our siblings and count them as friends in our adult life. I couldn’t think of anything better than the joy of watching my son love and laugh with some siblings. However life happened, I grew up and had to become an adult not a dreamer.
Of course I worry what mum doesn’t? Will he be spoilt, a loner or worse never come and see me at Christmas! What do I say
SelfishMother.com
2
when he asks me why ? I can barely articulate it myself. I just know despite the longing in my heart the feeling of anxiety and dread in my throat is too over powering.
It’s fear it takes over and it’s real it’s what makes me worry rather than rejoice for my friends pregnancy news, it’s what makes me panic when holding a new born or hearing a story of child birth. I’m not heartless I just don’t want to hear your story I’m too consumed by the horror of my own. I zone out, I can’t relate as ultimately you seem happy and keen to repeat. It makes me
It’s fear it takes over and it’s real it’s what makes me worry rather than rejoice for my friends pregnancy news, it’s what makes me panic when holding a new born or hearing a story of child birth. I’m not heartless I just don’t want to hear your story I’m too consumed by the horror of my own. I zone out, I can’t relate as ultimately you seem happy and keen to repeat. It makes me
SelfishMother.com
3
feel like an outsider. I know you don’t understand and for that I feel alone.
So for now and onwards yes it’s just one.
But my goodness he’s a good one.
My love my son.
So for now and onwards yes it’s just one.
But my goodness he’s a good one.
My love my son.
SelfishMother.com
