Keep on running

SARAH TOPPING - 23 Aug 16

Or in some cases, don’t.

This morning I went running, which somebody recently informed me is ‘the work of Satan’. That seems a bit of a harsh description of something that is at best totally freeing, refreshing and a chance to sing ‘More than Words’ by Extreme whilst clutching the air and who cares who sees, and at worst, something to make yourself do because you know afterwards you’ll feel a million times better.
I run because it clears my head and I am in a constant battle with myself over my weight. It’s SO dull to think about it all the time, but I do, and running helps. It is also a chance to listen to music, take in what’s around you, get out there and away from piles of washing/toys everywhere/work/tantrums etc.

It is also a fine opportunity to pound the pavements or tracks or beaches or valleys and release some endorphins to help try and cure what ails you. Particularly in the mind. At 2am today I awoke in a panic at still not being pregnant yet. It snapped me awake, this subject that is constantly on my mind, this hum of ‘babybabybabybabywhenwilltherebeanewbaby?’ When? I’ve written about this here before, and I am incredibly conscious and sympathetic that so many are in a much more difficult/stressful situation with longing for a baby than we are.

Running is a way to keep fit and a distraction from this panic and these worries. I now take my running stuff with me when we go away, because I like to see new things. Where we live, my runs are a bit restricted to one lovely park and a beautiful heath not far away, so I like to take the chance to see new sights. Back in April, we stayed with friends in Brighton, and despite very clear instructions on which way to go when I went running, I did my usual trick of turning left not right and ended up smack bang in the crowds preparing to run the Brighton marathon. Oh. Dear. I extricated myself and managed to find a route, but not just any route, part of the Brighton marathon route itself. So I ran along the seafront and past the barricades in the middle of the road, because why not?

Then in July, whilst staying with friends in Morzine, off I went for a little Saturday morning run through the valley in the rain. Well. As I got down there, I could see red and white tape everywhere. ‘Zut alors!’ I thought, in my best Lumiere from Beauty and the Beast voice, ‘there’s been a murdER!’ (Taggart). But as I kept on running, it became clear that some kind of sporting event was happening. Eventually I reached a point where a steward tried to usher me into a runners’ area, and in my best GSCE French I declared ‘Non, je suis en vacances!’ I stopped at asking ‘Ou est la piscine?’ because she looked horrified and communicated to me that I needed to Get Out of There. So I crossed a bridge and was then met by another steward, whom I informed again I’m just on my holidays, guv. He replied ‘Soon there will be some very serious runners coming this way!’ Off I scarpered, and phew, because two minutes later some extremely serious looking runners – no – athletes, came charging across the path, some with their tops off, some in war paint! In fact, this was the Reebok Spartan Challenge, an international sporting event and I had absolutely no place there.

My runs have been less lively in comparison since then, but early this morning in the park it just came to a full stop. Maybe it’s the case that sometimes, when something upsetting entirely takes you over, you need to just stop for a while. Stop pretending you’re okay. It’s not ‘fine’. It was a beautiful morning with bright blue skies and a breeze, and I slowed down by a bench in the middle of a hill, with no one in sight nearby. So I lay down on that bench and looked up at the sky, and tears rolled down my cheeks as Gary Barlow sang about Patience to me. Oh, Gary.

How often do we ever get to just stop, in a big wide open space, and be? I can highly recommend it. Yes, running is good. But you can’t run away from what’s in your head, and sometimes it helps to just let those thoughts happen, whilst you give yourself a little break. And if Gary Barlow is there to serenade you at the same time? That helps too.

(Image credit esquire.com)

SARAH TOPPING

Sarah Topping is a freelance creative copywriter at Playing with Words and former copywriter at Penguin Children's. Her clients include Pottermore from J.K. Rowling, Enid Blyton Entertainment, BBC Worldwide, Puffin Books and World Book Day. Sarah lives in London with her husband Adam and their sons Zachary and Jonah, who rock (and rule) their world. In between freelancing, she writes children’s stories and blogs about motherhood in all its guises, from the magic and joy to the potty training, tantrums and tripping over toys (pass the wine!). @SarahTopping3

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