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Learning Not To Give A C**p about Mrs Judgy

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One positive that has come out of my recent difficulties with PND is learning to try not to give a c**p, or at least so much of one. Learning not to be Mrs JudgyJudgemental and learning not to bend to anyone else’s judgement.

Yesterday I took Kitten to the ‘weigh-in’ clinic (she’s starting boxing soon…heavyweight I reckon) and needed to give her a bottle. I strolled into the feeding room, got out my bottle and happily chatted to the other mummies. So what, you may think. Well, my mind wandered to when this exact situation occurred with Bear.

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That time I sat awkwardly in the very same room, tears welling up, whilst everyone else around me breastfed. I felt guilty and judged because I was not breastfeeding. I wanted to shout out the reason, despite the fact that, maybe, in reality no one really cared and it was all in my head.

My mother has photos of me, at 12 months old, wearing a “I’m A Breastfed Baby” t-shirt and she was rightly proud of this. I won’t argue against breastfeeding being the best for a baby, of course it is, it is what our boobies are designed for, but it is only

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best if it’s also working for mummy. A very wise Paediatrician friend of mine once told me “There IS something better than breastfeeding and that is ACTUALLY feeding your baby.” Upsetting everyone, because of a principle, is not healthy. There are a whole plethora of reasons why it may not be working for you and, quite frankly, even if the reason is that you don’t want to then that surely should be up to you.

There can be many physical problems that mean breastfeeding is not satisfying your baby: poor supply, mastitis, problems latching.

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However, in my personal situation it was all about my mental health. I was very lucky to have no physical problem breastfeeding. I started in the hospital, both children got it straight away and they both put weight on in the first week. My brain however was struggling. No one else can help me. I’m trapped and can’t leave this baby EVER. How much are they are eating? These statements on and on and on. When I was prescribed anti-depressants I decided to stop breastfeeding. I didn’t need another thing to be anxious about. It was not an easy decision
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but it was definitely best for me and therefore best for the babies. Two days is better than nothing, two weeks is great, two months…amazing. Give yourself a pat on the back for whatever you manage.

We should never be pitting women against each other. Raising a child is hard enough, without feeling the need to justify your decisions. Remember, when you look at someone bottle feeding their baby, they probably struggled with the decision to not breastfeed and even if they didn’t, who cares! And, if it is you that is struggling with breastfeeding and

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you know that deep down that everyone would be happier with a bottle, then give them one. In return I will not be shocked when someone exerts their right to continue breastfeeding a child well after they can ask for it themselves.

If you are worrying about your decisions, follow my lead and try not to give a c**p about what other people think! If you’re reading this and thinking that I should have tried harder, stop being Mrs JudgyJudgemental and step off that high horse of yours!

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- 24 Feb 16

One positive that has come out of my recent difficulties with PND is learning to try not to give a c**p, or at least so much of one. Learning not to be Mrs JudgyJudgemental and learning not to bend to anyone else’s judgement.

Yesterday I took Kitten to the ‘weigh-in’ clinic (she’s starting boxing soon…heavyweight I reckon) and needed to give her a bottle. I strolled into the feeding room, got out my bottle and happily chatted to the other mummies. So what, you may think. Well, my mind wandered to when this exact situation occurred with Bear. That time I sat awkwardly in the very same room, tears welling up, whilst everyone else around me breastfed. I felt guilty and judged because I was not breastfeeding. I wanted to shout out the reason, despite the fact that, maybe, in reality no one really cared and it was all in my head.bottle feed#

My mother has photos of me, at 12 months old, wearing a “I’m A Breastfed Baby” t-shirt and she was rightly proud of this. I won’t argue against breastfeeding being the best for a baby, of course it is, it is what our boobies are designed for, but it is only best if it’s also working for mummy. A very wise Paediatrician friend of mine once told me “There IS something better than breastfeeding and that is ACTUALLY feeding your baby.” Upsetting everyone, because of a principle, is not healthy. There are a whole plethora of reasons why it may not be working for you and, quite frankly, even if the reason is that you don’t want to then that surely should be up to you.

There can be many physical problems that mean breastfeeding is not satisfying your baby: poor supply, mastitis, problems latching. However, in my personal situation it was all about my mental health. I was very lucky to have no physical problem breastfeeding. I started in the hospital, both children got it straight away and they both put weight on in the first week. My brain however was struggling. No one else can help me. I’m trapped and can’t leave this baby EVER. How much are they are eating? These statements on and on and on. When I was prescribed anti-depressants I decided to stop breastfeeding. I didn’t need another thing to be anxious about. It was not an easy decision but it was definitely best for me and therefore best for the babies. Two days is better than nothing, two weeks is great, two months…amazing. Give yourself a pat on the back for whatever you manage.

We should never be pitting women against each other. Raising a child is hard enough, without feeling the need to justify your decisions. Remember, when you look at someone bottle feeding their baby, they probably struggled with the decision to not breastfeed and even if they didn’t, who cares! And, if it is you that is struggling with breastfeeding and you know that deep down that everyone would be happier with a bottle, then give them one. In return I will not be shocked when someone exerts their right to continue breastfeeding a child well after they can ask for it themselves.

If you are worrying about your decisions, follow my lead and try not to give a c**p about what other people think! If you’re reading this and thinking that I should have tried harder, stop being Mrs JudgyJudgemental and step off that high horse of yours!

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I am the author of lifestyle blog LDNFashionBaby. I am a mummy of two beautiful babies, whose adventures are documented on my blog. I love fashion, fitness and rubbish TV!

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