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Learning to relax

1
I have just put on my joggers with absolutely naff all intention of doing any exercise. The joggers are teamed with some of the most comfortable slouchy slipper socks I have ever known, and I consider myself to be quite the expert in this area.

Today is day 15 or the beginning of week 3 of what I am still struggling to decide is either maternity leave or unemployment and I have to admit adapting is a challenge. I’m pretty sure my friends and family think maybe I am slowly losing it. However, life is rarely as straightforward as it seems and reality

SelfishMother.com
2
is just that – real – so it’s not really so strange to know that sometimes life can surprise us.

Let’s be clear, I am super lucky. I have 2 lovely kids and am on the very final countdown to number 3 arriving, a husband who is supportive in so many ways and also a fabulous father. Taking those factors into account, what’s to worry about? However, since giving up work  (I have no plans to return this time) I have to admit I am feeling a little lost. It’s like I am in this curious limbo between my (now) old life of generally running about like a

SelfishMother.com
3
crazy lady to fit in being a full time mum; as well as a full time job squeezed into 3 days. Whilst now quietly waiting for baby and trying to foresee and prepare for how life is going to change again when number 3 lands.

When I explain this to others, the majority of people say ‘relax and enjoy the peace’ or ‘you’ll wish you’d made more of this time once baby arrives’. All well intentioned and true but the reality is I have had very little time switch off in recent years and it’s not coming naturally now I have the chance. This even

SelfishMother.com
4
surprises me, as at nearly 38 weeks pregnant, the lack of sleep due to discomfort should be enough to send me back to bed the minute the kids are off to school and nursery. However, the constant feeling that I should be doing something more prevents this. Added to this, the very fact that I am worried about struggling to wind down, suggests being ‘chilled’ does necessarily come easily to me or maybe I have simply forgotten how to switch off.

So today I have challenged myself to do and think about only things I enjoy, stay home and start to learn

SelfishMother.com
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to relax again. I am forbidden to do anything that is not just about me and am not allowed to access the ‘to do list’ in my head. This includes, not putting on a wash while waiting for the kettle to boil, not sorting out some internet banking while browsing on line and not picking up one single toy, rather just navigating around them while I mooch about the house. Perhaps most importantly, I will not be committing the ’to do list’ to paper or making a start on it.

I am going to write, read, nap and perhaps take of the slipper socks and go for a

SelfishMother.com
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walk at some point. I am going to listen to music and sort out some old photo’s I have really been meaning to frame. I am going to avoid people and noise. I am going to lie down and think about holidays and spa breaks and absolutely nothing. My theory is that a full day to retreat and chill out will reset my pace. Knowing we will all survive the day if I haven’t done some housework or worried that I should be doing something or worse, that I have forgotten something (or someone), hopefully will rebalance my perspective.

Of course, this could be a

SelfishMother.com
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slippery slope…. in a few weeks time I may lose the desire to wear anything but joggers, with still no intention of exercise and the condition of the home may warrant the midwife who visits to flag me and my children as a cause for concern. As I say, life can surprise us! However, I remain hopeful that learning to relax again will not result in anything other than a more chilled out mum, wife and me.
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- 15 Feb 16

I have just put on my joggers with absolutely naff all intention of doing any exercise. The joggers are teamed with some of the most comfortable slouchy slipper socks I have ever known, and I consider myself to be quite the expert in this area.

Today is day 15 or the beginning of week 3 of what I am still struggling to decide is either maternity leave or unemployment and I have to admit adapting is a challenge. I’m pretty sure my friends and family think maybe I am slowly losing it. However, life is rarely as straightforward as it seems and reality is just that – real – so it’s not really so strange to know that sometimes life can surprise us.

Let’s be clear, I am super lucky. I have 2 lovely kids and am on the very final countdown to number 3 arriving, a husband who is supportive in so many ways and also a fabulous father. Taking those factors into account, what’s to worry about? However, since giving up work  (I have no plans to return this time) I have to admit I am feeling a little lost. It’s like I am in this curious limbo between my (now) old life of generally running about like a crazy lady to fit in being a full time mum; as well as a full time job squeezed into 3 days. Whilst now quietly waiting for baby and trying to foresee and prepare for how life is going to change again when number 3 lands.

When I explain this to others, the majority of people say ‘relax and enjoy the peace’ or ‘you’ll wish you’d made more of this time once baby arrives’. All well intentioned and true but the reality is I have had very little time switch off in recent years and it’s not coming naturally now I have the chance. This even surprises me, as at nearly 38 weeks pregnant, the lack of sleep due to discomfort should be enough to send me back to bed the minute the kids are off to school and nursery. However, the constant feeling that I should be doing something more prevents this. Added to this, the very fact that I am worried about struggling to wind down, suggests being ‘chilled’ does necessarily come easily to me or maybe I have simply forgotten how to switch off.

So today I have challenged myself to do and think about only things I enjoy, stay home and start to learn to relax again. I am forbidden to do anything that is not just about me and am not allowed to access the ‘to do list’ in my head. This includes, not putting on a wash while waiting for the kettle to boil, not sorting out some internet banking while browsing on line and not picking up one single toy, rather just navigating around them while I mooch about the house. Perhaps most importantly, I will not be committing the ‘to do list’ to paper or making a start on it.

I am going to write, read, nap and perhaps take of the slipper socks and go for a walk at some point. I am going to listen to music and sort out some old photo’s I have really been meaning to frame. I am going to avoid people and noise. I am going to lie down and think about holidays and spa breaks and absolutely nothing. My theory is that a full day to retreat and chill out will reset my pace. Knowing we will all survive the day if I haven’t done some housework or worried that I should be doing something or worse, that I have forgotten something (or someone), hopefully will rebalance my perspective.

Of course, this could be a slippery slope…. in a few weeks time I may lose the desire to wear anything but joggers, with still no intention of exercise and the condition of the home may warrant the midwife who visits to flag me and my children as a cause for concern. As I say, life can surprise us! However, I remain hopeful that learning to relax again will not result in anything other than a more chilled out mum, wife and me.

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Mum of three fabulous children, wife to one very patient husband. My blogs are about anything that has popped into my head as it occurs to me. I have aspirations to write more, that are slowly turning into reality. A lover of the simple things in life - good friends, good food, good wine and of course family.

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