Lessons from 12 Days in Self-Isolation

Aine Homer - 23 Mar 20

The self-isolation, social distancing and schools being out for 5 months might only be hitting home today.

Until now, the kids were in school.

Until now, you had time and space to think, breathe and speak to other adults.

Until now…

And maybe you’re dreading it.

You don’t feel capable of homeschooling your children I mean, if you did, you’d have done it years ago, right?

You are freaking out that they are going to forget everything they know.

You’re scared as hell of cabin fever. I mean, you love your children, but 5 months with them? No babysitters? No grandparents to help? No playdates? No playground respite? WTF????

I want to tell you that all will be well.

You’ve got this.

We’ve been isolated for 12 days now, and we haven’t gone stir crazy. The reason we haven’t is because I haven’t allowed us to. Don’t get me wrong, it hasn’t been all peaches and cream, it’s been a lot easier than I would have thought it would have been.

Unless your kids are doing A-levels, their life does not depend on any potential exams they might have sat this year.

If your kids were doing exams, they have the added benefit of having their teacher on their side for grades.

Please, chill out.

1. You’re not the only family in this situation this year, it’s isn’t just your kids school, its the whole frickin’ world is in this predicament. And so it sort of isn’t a predicament.
2. If your kids doesn’t look at a maths or reading book between now and September who really cares? 
3. You can get even the most easily-offended-by-reading kids to write something if they do it for their secret girl/boyfriend, and are allowed to show it to them over a video call…

After a week at home, the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that I set the tone of our home, and I wanted to share these tips to help others who may be feeling a little overwhelmed at the prospects homeschooling and working, all in isolation from the world.

1. Don’t panic.
   If your kids don’t do a minute of school work this week, so be it. Don’t stress. The schools will figure this out and help us, give them a few days.
2. Don’t panic.
   You’re not a teacher (unless you are one) and you’re not expected to teach your own kids (unless you’re their teacher). Again, trust that the schools will get you and your kids what you need and they will be fine.
3. Be grateful for the sunshine we are going to have this week, open the doors and let the kids into the garden. Set them tasks like “how many ladybirds/worms can you find in 30 minutes and tell me where you found them”.
4. Don’t intervene with older kids arguments. When they start to argue over and come looking for answers, don’t choose one or the other. Explain gently that it’s not your job to find the answer..I use this explanation with mine: “We have to live and work together for now, the nicer we are to each other, the more fun we are going to have. Find out what each other person wants, then find something you both want to do together, or decide not to play together. Either way is good with me. For the next hour, mummy / daddy needs to work, and you’ll have my time at 11:00 like we agreed.”
5. Set boundaries for how your kids speak. My littlest tends to whinge, and it drives me mad. Instead of reacting with annoyance, say “I don’t understand what you’re saying. When you can use your normal voice, I am here to listen.” Then ignore them until they speak nicely. When they do, make sure you recognise it and give them your ear.
6. If kids are having trouble finding their ’normal’ voice, suggest they find their superhero voice. Ask “is that how SuperGirl / WonderWoman would ask for something?”
   Demonstrate a superhero power pose (wide leg stance, hands on hips, feeling strong), and ask them to stand like this and ask again.

Good Luck for the Next Week!

Aine Homer

Becoming a mum changed Aine Homer, far more than she ever bargained for. Her inconsolable baby girl couldn't be out of her arms, screamed day and night, didn't sleep and Aine was told that this was normal, and that she needed to toughen up. The chronic sleep deprivation lead to a long acquaintance with post natal depression. Her unique background of mechanical engineering and Traditional Chinese Medicine however, wouldn't accept these answers. She knew in her heart that there was something going on for her baby. With diagnoses of colic followed by silent reflux and then cow's milk protein allergy, Aine's daughter continued to suffer with no answers from the healthcare system. Aine's belief that there is always a cause for something lead her on a path of discovery. After months of research, reading and figuring things out, Aine discovered the causes of reflux and she resolved her baby's suffering where others had not been previously able to help. Her stint with post natal depression lasted three years and resulted in Aine asking many questions including "did I make a mistake becoming a mum?", "is being parents going to ruin my marriage?" She made her escape from post natal depression when she vowed to herself to use her knowledge to save other families the suffering hers had endured. She wrote and published The Baby Reflux Lady's Survival Guide and truly became The Baby Reflux Lady.

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