LET LIFE BE CARNAGE

A Bogie - 8 Oct 14

I have always been a planner, I loved organising and making lots of arrangements – details, it was all about the details. But that was before children, when my little brain would have a field day when it had a lot to think about. Now I have two children and I just can’t keep things in order anymore. Details have gone out of the window and I think its safe to say my life is carnage.

When you’ve been a planner and like things to be a certain way, it can be hard to let go and accept that you just can’t manage it all. It has taken me years, and I still have to give myself a little pinch to remind myself that it is ok if something isn’t done how I’d like it to be.

Life went from being pretty organised to carnage about 7 years ago. I had written my first ever children’s book called Ta Dah! I was really pleased with it and I felt it was strong enough to send to publishers. Unfortunately I received a fair few rejections but life carries on and I soon became pregnant with my first child, Reuben (now 3), so I had a lot to distract myself from the disappointment.

Once Reuben arrived, my life stopped behaving like it used to. Reuben didn’t sleep, day or night, so I never had any time to plan trips, organise parties, or, in any way, keep up with my old life. Then, Amabel (now 1) came along, and thankfully she slept and Reuben started nursery and I felt things were getting a little back to normal. But that was silly, Amabel then started moving and waking up at 5am – my life quickly returned to carnage.

How are you supposed to function with little sleep and mess everywhere, all the time? Basically you can’t, so accept it. No one really notices, or cares, when you have snot on your shoulder. Friends don’t mind (well, they shouldn’t!) if their birthday card is a few days late or just comes in the form of a text. If you can get out of the door without having to return five times to get the things you’ve forgotten, you are doing ok. And if you can’t manage that, well just think of it as your exercise for the day.

After months of sleep deprivation (again), I finally began to accept that carnage was ok, and actually quite fun. It makes people laugh when you’ve put on mismatched flip flops, friends are delighted when served a fish finger sandwich and seeing the glee on your kiddies’ faces when you allow them to help you do the grocery shopping, thus taking 90 minutes, makes you realise life is there to have fun with.

But am I going to be able to cope with more chaos? Things have just got that little bit more complicated…

A year ago, I received a phone call from Fat Fox Books. Holly, the MD of Fat Fox, had been passed my children’s story and loved it. With some incredible advice and editing from Fat Fox, it was ready to be published. This was such exciting news, I was ecstatic and incredulous that after all that time my children’s book was actually going to be published. My children were young but writing is something that fits well with being a mum and with the help of my wonderful family I thought that I would be able to manage it.

It was then, just before Happy Hooves, Ta Dah! was launched, I found out I was pregnant.

Yikes.

Life is going to be crazy. But you know what, bring it on. I’m going to be trying to launch my dream career as a children’s book author alongside having 3 tiny children. I know I’m going to have times when I cry because I’ve not slept. I know that I’m going to get hormonal, irrational and desperate for a day that doesn’t involve poo, snot and making meal, after meal, after meal. But, life and certainly motherhood, is meant to be a rollercoaster, it isn’t supposed to be straight forward and easy. It is tough, but it is also the most incredibly rewarding thing I will ever do.

My second book: Happy Hooves, Oh! Oh! Oh! the Christmas special is due out in November, Bambino is due in February and, all going well, the third edition of Happy Hooves will be published next summer.

My life is going to be carnage, and very happily so.

Discover Anna’s books at Waterstones, and Tweet her @ABogie

A Bogie

Anna Bogie is a children's picture book author. Her debut book Happy Hooves, Ta Dah! was published in September 2014 and is soon to be followed up by the Christmas special Happy Hooves, Oh! Oh! Oh! She is married to a gorgeous Scotsman, Michael, and mother to Reuben, 3, Amabel, 1. Bambino number three is due in February. They live in Gibraltar.

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