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Let the kids do the talking, they find the best mum-friends!

1
I was always one of those people who found it difficult to connect with strangers. A tad socially awkward (despite my bubbly exterior) and, at times, chronically short of self-esteem. It made making new friends in adulthood a tad problematic. Luckily I had held onto my old ones – a crazy, eclectic wonderfully loyal group of girls met through school and university.

As my life moved on and I married and started planning a family the geographical distance between me and those I had left behind in my home town seemed immense. I had moved to a quiet

SelfishMother.com
2
suburb: good schools, green spaces, well-kept lawns and felt, if I’m honesty, pretty alone.

In 2010 (after 72 pretty gruelling hours of labour and an awful lot of tangtastics, juice and Boost bars) my son came into the world. It was a warm, sunny springtime day which merged into one of the hottest summers on record. We walked, we lay on the grass, we laughed, we began to join local groups and little by little, with my son mostly leading the way, a wonderful, funny, crazy, honest, capable group of women emerged out of the suburban woodwork.

I

SelfishMother.com
3
found some of my old fears about starting anything new seemed to be evaporating. My mum always used to say that having a baby was a good ‘leveller’ for women. It doesn’t matter who you are, what job you do, how much money you have – being a mother seems to transcend all of this. We all find it (in equal parts) hard, exhilarating, infuriating, exhausting and a pure and utter joy at times no matter who we were before.

We had a few false starts, there are always going to be people out there who will take great delight in telling you you’re

SelfishMother.com
4
doing it wrong; or obsess over why your child can’t sleep through the night, recite the works of Shakespeare or speak fluent Cantonese. I tended to be drawn more to the knackered-looking mums, or those with dodgy stains on their clothes, or open happy faces. In short the ones who looked ‘normal’. What I’ve learnt is there’s nothing ‘normal’ about these supermums!

I am thankful for my son who I viewed in those early days rather like a ‘patronus’ (for the Harry Potter fans out there). My beautiful, warm shield of love which gave me the

SelfishMother.com
5
confidence to walk paths I wouldn’t have dreamt of walking before.
I am thankful for my crazy daughter who arrived three years later whose funny, warm, energetic nature seems to draw all the great kids (and their parents) into our path.

I am thankful for my ‘suburban family’, the wonderful group of parents and grandparents on hand with tea, nights out, wine, laughs, playdates and support. They’ll never understand how much they have enriched my life by being their awesome selves.

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- 15 Mar 16

I was always one of those people who found it difficult to connect with strangers. A tad socially awkward (despite my bubbly exterior) and, at times, chronically short of self-esteem. It made making new friends in adulthood a tad problematic. Luckily I had held onto my old ones – a crazy, eclectic wonderfully loyal group of girls met through school and university.

As my life moved on and I married and started planning a family the geographical distance between me and those I had left behind in my home town seemed immense. I had moved to a quiet suburb: good schools, green spaces, well-kept lawns and felt, if I’m honesty, pretty alone.

In 2010 (after 72 pretty gruelling hours of labour and an awful lot of tangtastics, juice and Boost bars) my son came into the world. It was a warm, sunny springtime day which merged into one of the hottest summers on record. We walked, we lay on the grass, we laughed, we began to join local groups and little by little, with my son mostly leading the way, a wonderful, funny, crazy, honest, capable group of women emerged out of the suburban woodwork.

I found some of my old fears about starting anything new seemed to be evaporating. My mum always used to say that having a baby was a good ‘leveller’ for women. It doesn’t matter who you are, what job you do, how much money you have – being a mother seems to transcend all of this. We all find it (in equal parts) hard, exhilarating, infuriating, exhausting and a pure and utter joy at times no matter who we were before.

We had a few false starts, there are always going to be people out there who will take great delight in telling you you’re doing it wrong; or obsess over why your child can’t sleep through the night, recite the works of Shakespeare or speak fluent Cantonese. I tended to be drawn more to the knackered-looking mums, or those with dodgy stains on their clothes, or open happy faces. In short the ones who looked ‘normal’. What I’ve learnt is there’s nothing ‘normal’ about these supermums!

I am thankful for my son who I viewed in those early days rather like a ‘patronus’ (for the Harry Potter fans out there). My beautiful, warm shield of love which gave me the confidence to walk paths I wouldn’t have dreamt of walking before.
I am thankful for my crazy daughter who arrived three years later whose funny, warm, energetic nature seems to draw all the great kids (and their parents) into our path.

I am thankful for my ‘suburban family’, the wonderful group of parents and grandparents on hand with tea, nights out, wine, laughs, playdates and support. They’ll never understand how much they have enriched my life by being their awesome selves.

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Thirty-something, busy, knackered, happy mum of a six year-old boy and (almost) three year-old girl. Living in Scotland and praying for the sunshine.

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