Let’s talk about milestones.

Lia Davies-Delaney - 20 Feb 19

I feel like I need to talk about milestones. Because right now, in our home, it is ALL about milestones.

Not only are we mid-way tackling the transition of co-sleeping – without the daily 11pm routine; whereby we are told to go to bed, by our wild-eyed and wiry-haired boy; tightly clutching his bedtime pals, as he impatiently waits to starfish in our bed. … But, we have decided to throw caution-to-the-wind, and introduce nappy-free nights.

BIG transitions.

Because, truth is: our boy, has been successfully toilet-trained since the age of two and a half. … Or rather, might I add: toilet-trained, by – day.

Yes, just – day. And not, by night.

Reason being? … Well, I guess perhaps, such actions were entirely led, from having failed to receive the parental guidelines, that were handed to me, at the birth of our child. That of which simply state: “once successfully potty-trained, one MUST aim for one’s child to be nappy-free, at ALL-hours-of-the-day. Otherwise, you are a shit parent.” (Wrote no one. Ever.)

Because parenthood comes with no rules. No: ‘one-size-fits-all’ set of guidelines to follow. That rather, the only guidelines I have (and will only ever follow) – as genuine indicators for any developmental transition – are that of my gut instincts, the consideration of our family, and his natural readiness.

And it just so happened, that when we first began the milestone of toilet-training, without any such particular reason, or justification – it just didn’t feel right, to enforce being nappy-free, for ‘all hours’ of the day.

So, we waited.

And we waited a whole nine months later.

Which brings us to now: the unofficial ‘milestone week’. Or rather: half-term week; which, being a teacher, is a period more commonly known amongst parents in offices and staff rooms, as: the-ONLY-time-to-get-real-shit-done.

So here we are, throwing sheets-to-the-wind (and hopefully not shits-on-the-sheets), by just – giving it a go.

And so far, he’s managed to successfully sleep through a total of three nights; with two nights dry, and the other – not-so-dry: “MAMA! I’VE GOT SWEATY LEGS!” – 3:30am witching-hour, wake-up call. …Which, admittedly, freaked me out a little bit.

But I’m proud of him. And I’m proud of us. Dry sheets, or not. Because now, at almost 3 and a half years old, he can fully comprehend the task at hand; and therefore strive to do his very best. And surely, that is all that should ever ‘really’ matter?

Just, as it should only ever ‘really’ matter, that parents are able to parent, free from any judgement, or pressures, that society can so often contemptuously enforce.

And that it’s okay to be ‘that’ parent – who has a tendency to do things, that little bit differently.

Because, I truly believe, that people desire the public honesty of parental milestones, that reside within conversations: behind the closed doors, the coffee breaks, and the WhatsApp chat threads.

And, to ‘be’ that honesty: well, I am more than okay with that.

Lia Davies-Delaney

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