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Living with OCD
I am not quiet when it comes to my battles with mental health but I haven’t really gone into the in’s and out’s of what happens to me on a daily basis.
I have OCD and this leads to anxiety and panic attacks that I have suffered since I was around 14 years old, I am still trying to work out what kick started this but I am going to blame hormones until I actually know why. (Bloody Hormones)
Ocd is used often to describe someone who is a bit of a clean freak and I think its overused and underestimated
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due to this.
Now I love cleaning and yes, I can obsessively clean my house but the question here is why do I do that? It isn’t becomes I like things a certain why (though I do) it’s because the routine and relaxation I get from cleaning helps relieve the constant whirl of thought in my mind.
Yip, Ocd is many things and mine is intrusive, obsessive thoughts.
An intrusive thought is a thought, image, or unpleasant idea that may become an obsession idea, it’s upsetting or distressing, and can feel difficult to manage or make
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go away. When such thoughts are paired with OCD, depression, body dysmorphic disorder, and sometimes ADHD, the thoughts may become paralyzing, anxiety-provoking, or persistent. Intrusive thoughts may also be associated with episodic memory, unwanted worries or memories from OCD, posttraumatic stress disorder, other anxiety disorders, eating disorders, or psychosis. Intrusive thoughts, urges, and images are of inappropriate things at inappropriate times, and generally have aggressive, sexual, or blasphemous themes.
Sounds lovely doesn’t
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it?
Now when I get a thought, it can be totally random. I may start to think about one of my family members becoming very ill (health is a big trigger for me) and my body may start to react like this thought is real. I may become upset, frozen in thought and panicked that this is happening then I can use my cleaning as a way of “resetting” and the thought stops and normal service can resume.
The thing is as the compulsions help they urge to perform them regularly becomes stronger and then we get into a circle of constant on
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edge.
Over time I have learned I have to let these thoughts in and past as trying to suppress them can result in an overload of emotion and an emotional breakdown. They are unwelcomed thoughts but I am taking control of them by letting them in and allowing them to past without too much fear and worry. This causes me less distress in the long run and decreases the discomfort of it all.
I had a long period without OCD but about 9 months in after my second child, I had a relapse and this is not an uncommon situation.
PND can bring
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on obsessive thoughts as the arrival of a new child can cause many new mothers trying to gain back control of a situation that seems out of control, add in hormones, sleep deprivation and you can a whole big mess.
The idea of these thoughts would seem ridiculous to someone who doesn’t suffer from it but for me, at that moment its so real.
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Mumforce - 1 Apr 19
I am not quiet when it comes to my battles with mental health but I haven’t really gone into the in’s and out’s of what happens to me on a daily basis.
I have OCD and this leads to anxiety and panic attacks that I have suffered since I was around 14 years old, I am still trying to work out what kick started this but I am going to blame hormones until I actually know why. (Bloody Hormones)
Ocd is used often to describe someone who is a bit of a clean freak and I think its overused and underestimated due to this.
Now I love cleaning and yes, I can obsessively clean my house but the question here is why do I do that? It isn’t becomes I like things a certain why (though I do) it’s because the routine and relaxation I get from cleaning helps relieve the constant whirl of thought in my mind.
Yip, Ocd is many things and mine is intrusive, obsessive thoughts.
An intrusive thought is a thought, image, or unpleasant idea that may become an obsession idea, it’s upsetting or distressing, and can feel difficult to manage or make go away. When such thoughts are paired with OCD, depression, body dysmorphic disorder, and sometimes ADHD, the thoughts may become paralyzing, anxiety-provoking, or persistent. Intrusive thoughts may also be associated with episodic memory, unwanted worries or memories from OCD, posttraumatic stress disorder, other anxiety disorders, eating disorders, or psychosis. Intrusive thoughts, urges, and images are of inappropriate things at inappropriate times, and generally have aggressive, sexual, or blasphemous themes.
Sounds lovely doesn’t it?
Now when I get a thought, it can be totally random. I may start to think about one of my family members becoming very ill (health is a big trigger for me) and my body may start to react like this thought is real. I may become upset, frozen in thought and panicked that this is happening then I can use my cleaning as a way of “resetting” and the thought stops and normal service can resume.
The thing is as the compulsions help they urge to perform them regularly becomes stronger and then we get into a circle of constant on edge.
Over time I have learned I have to let these thoughts in and past as trying to suppress them can result in an overload of emotion and an emotional breakdown. They are unwelcomed thoughts but I am taking control of them by letting them in and allowing them to past without too much fear and worry. This causes me less distress in the long run and decreases the discomfort of it all.
I had a long period without OCD but about 9 months in after my second child, I had a relapse and this is not an uncommon situation.
PND can bring on obsessive thoughts as the arrival of a new child can cause many new mothers trying to gain back control of a situation that seems out of control, add in hormones, sleep deprivation and you can a whole big mess.
The idea of these thoughts would seem ridiculous to someone who doesn’t suffer from it but for me, at that moment its so real.
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Gail aka Mumforce, is a Scottish lifestyle / parenting blogger and a mum of two, based in Edinburgh.
After giving birth to 2 little darlings Gail focussed some attention towards rediscovering/discovering herself. Being a daughter, sister, friend, wife and mother can take a lot out of the best of us. Whilst in amongst/ dealing with all the unpredictability’s in life it’s an easy thing to go into pilot mode/ forget to catch your breath and although bringing up another human being is arguably one of the most difficult challenges a human can be blessed with – “it can often be the case the we want more in respect to purpose, something that is just me”.
Gail is open about her mental health and hopes that through writing, honestly about her experiences she can allow others to open up and no longer feel alone. As well as talking/writing about her struggles with mental health, Gail blogs about daily life, women’s rights and issues that some are afraid to address. Throw in a few family outing reviews, product reviews and mum fashion and we have a very mixed bag which truly represents the addictive randomness that is Mumforce.
To begin with Gail found writing as a form of therapy and a hobby however through her literacy journey Gail’s lifelong pursuit of seeking acceptance has been redefined – “ I finally understood that it was self acceptance that was being sought and have since embraced every ounce of human emotion and solidified its presence through my words”. A unique character who we can all relate to who gives a fantastic reflection of the main battle we have in life, “the person staring back at me in the mirror”.
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