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Lockdown Learns

1
Lockdown. Without a doubt I am one of the lucky ones. Living in the picturesque Cotswolds, garden, surrounded by fields and, for now, virus free. There will be many of us that fall into this category and we are fully aware, and grateful, to be in the situation that we are in. Our Instagrams are littered with the hashtags #blessed #stayhome #staysafe and we are beyond empathetic for those stuck in inner city apartment blocks, with children, gagging to be free. However, we cannot deny that life is far from normal and whilst we are not facing the hardships
SelfishMother.com
2
that many are, things aren’t necessarily easy either.
I am an introvert; you could argue that I am the prime candidate for someone that should thrive during lockdown. I enjoy time alone and crave my own space. In truth, I have never had less time to myself. Even with newborns, there were nap times. True, those nap times usually consisted of epic walks to get them to sleep, but they slept and for an hour there was silence. Lockdown in our house consists of two small people talking (yelling) from dawn until, well after, dusk. My brain has no time to
SelfishMother.com
3
stop and be still and I cannot get any work done during the day. Without any peace I need at least an hour of chill time once they are in bed before I can contemplate tackling my creative job and six nights this week I have been working up until 3am to get the work done. With this sort of schedule going on I have long since abandoned all notion of using lockdown to improve our French, teach the kids sign language or how to play Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata. We all miss our friends, we are all getting under each other’s feet and each one of us is
SelfishMother.com
4
struggling to remain calm when we hear a grandmother has caught it, or friend, or loved one. We have gone into survival mode.
Do you know what, survival mode is just fine. I realised during week one of home schooling, a strict routine was never going to work for us, and we have adapted in a way that suits all of us. We do the home workouts, but not at 9 am when the world is waking up with Joe Wicks, we are still bleary eyed, toast in hand. Our literacy lessons consist of Bananagrams. We have planted the veggie patch, but I am sitting here realising it
SelfishMother.com
5
has been three days since we last watered it. Lockdown has made me even worse at housework, I no longer see the point of tidying as it is inevitably going to be a shit tip again in half an hour and I am embracing the mess, grateful there is not going to be any unexpected visitors to judge me on it (and I can angle the camera to the ‘good bits’ when the grandparents face time). But I do make my bed, I do shower and dress in my favourite ‘nice’ clothes and I do still apply a face of make-up, for no other reason than it makes me feel a bit better
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6
about myself.
Whether we are the ‘lucky ones’ or not, no matter what sort of Coronavirus situation we are in, the situation is pants. We know our grandparents, sent off to war, had a worse time than we are doing now, this doesn’t compare, but it still isn’t good. We are having to cope with things that are pushing our comfort zones uncomfortably far, so put the break on being the perfect parent. It isn’t going to happen, if craft isn’t your thing, step away from the glitter. If you can’t bake to save your life, don’t waste the flour. No
SelfishMother.com
7
one expects your child to return to school knowing the Greek alphabet, they just want to see your child return safely. TV is fine. The best thing to do now is hold your family, take each day as it comes and don’t fret the small stuff, no one is going to be good at this, but this is life right now and we will get through it.
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Sarah Jarman

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- 15 Apr 20

Lockdown. Without a doubt I am one of the lucky ones. Living in the picturesque Cotswolds, garden, surrounded by fields and, for now, virus free. There will be many of us that fall into this category and we are fully aware, and grateful, to be in the situation that we are in. Our Instagrams are littered with the hashtags #blessed #stayhome #staysafe and we are beyond empathetic for those stuck in inner city apartment blocks, with children, gagging to be free. However, we cannot deny that life is far from normal and whilst we are not facing the hardships that many are, things aren’t necessarily easy either.
I am an introvert; you could argue that I am the prime candidate for someone that should thrive during lockdown. I enjoy time alone and crave my own space. In truth, I have never had less time to myself. Even with newborns, there were nap times. True, those nap times usually consisted of epic walks to get them to sleep, but they slept and for an hour there was silence. Lockdown in our house consists of two small people talking (yelling) from dawn until, well after, dusk. My brain has no time to stop and be still and I cannot get any work done during the day. Without any peace I need at least an hour of chill time once they are in bed before I can contemplate tackling my creative job and six nights this week I have been working up until 3am to get the work done. With this sort of schedule going on I have long since abandoned all notion of using lockdown to improve our French, teach the kids sign language or how to play Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata. We all miss our friends, we are all getting under each other’s feet and each one of us is struggling to remain calm when we hear a grandmother has caught it, or friend, or loved one. We have gone into survival mode.
Do you know what, survival mode is just fine. I realised during week one of home schooling, a strict routine was never going to work for us, and we have adapted in a way that suits all of us. We do the home workouts, but not at 9 am when the world is waking up with Joe Wicks, we are still bleary eyed, toast in hand. Our literacy lessons consist of Bananagrams. We have planted the veggie patch, but I am sitting here realising it has been three days since we last watered it. Lockdown has made me even worse at housework, I no longer see the point of tidying as it is inevitably going to be a shit tip again in half an hour and I am embracing the mess, grateful there is not going to be any unexpected visitors to judge me on it (and I can angle the camera to the ‘good bits’ when the grandparents face time). But I do make my bed, I do shower and dress in my favourite ‘nice’ clothes and I do still apply a face of make-up, for no other reason than it makes me feel a bit better about myself.
Whether we are the ‘lucky ones’ or not, no matter what sort of Coronavirus situation we are in, the situation is pants. We know our grandparents, sent off to war, had a worse time than we are doing now, this doesn’t compare, but it still isn’t good. We are having to cope with things that are pushing our comfort zones uncomfortably far, so put the break on being the perfect parent. It isn’t going to happen, if craft isn’t your thing, step away from the glitter. If you can’t bake to save your life, don’t waste the flour. No one expects your child to return to school knowing the Greek alphabet, they just want to see your child return safely. TV is fine. The best thing to do now is hold your family, take each day as it comes and don’t fret the small stuff, no one is going to be good at this, but this is life right now and we will get through it.

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Sarah Jarman

Primarily a Mum, aspiring Author, Freelance Writer and Artist, Blogger, Foodie and Jewellery Designer just having fun doing all the things I love! My portfolio available to view over on my website www.saspsdesigns.com

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