Marrying the Teenage Dream
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Popping into the supermarket recently saw me bumping into an acquaintance. We stopped for a polite chat and somehow ended up discussing her teenage daughter and ’the boyfriend’. The relationship is apparently serious but ’won’t last’. It seems love in your teenage years is almost always doomed to failure, but there are some occasions when it does actually stand the test of time.
This year my husband and I celebrated fifteen years since the day we first hooked up at a birthday party. Like all teenage romances ours was also tarred with rumours of
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falling apart. My now husband had the reputation of ’never staying with anyone longer than five minutes’, I had been labelled a ’heart breaker’ at the end of my previous relationship, and then there was the upcoming university years to contend with. I am not saying it was a walk in the park. University was more like a ride on oblivion, up and down, on and off, breaks, break ups, you name it we probably had to deal with it, but here we are, fifteen years later, together.
As we hit this milestone I felt quite moved, not simply because of the length
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of time I have been with this man, but also because I have been witness to all the steps in his journey throughout adulthood so far. When we first met we were pretty much still children. Both filled with the naivety of youth, we spent evenings discussing our hopes for the future, our plans, our dreams. I feel blessed to say, we have been allowed to follow a path which, give or take, resembles something like the plan we drew up in adolescence. He became an architect, I became a writer, he may have not, as yet, been awarded with Riba awards. but It may
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happen. I am not yet a world famous author, but maybe one day. We live in a lovely area, have the beautiful children we wished for, the eager dog, the country views. So money is tight, we haven’t travelled the world yet, there is still plenty on the list to do, but we have time.
Like with all working adults, life is busy. We try not to take each other for granted, but sometimes we probably do. When I stop to look at the man I married there are definite changes from the boy I first met, there are a few more lines, the grey hairs, the tired eyes; our
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children help contribute to those. After a busy day, when he looks worn out, and I wonder if life is what he thought it would be, I ask if he is happy, after all this time he still replies that yes, we make him happy every day.
Today’s statistics show that almost half of marriages end in divorce. I like to think we will be one to stand the test of time. I am not oblivious to the challenges we will have to face. As we age no doubt at least one of us will suffer ill health, there may well be further years of financial burdens, and we haven’t even
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reached the stage where our two feisty girls become even feistier teenagers, heaven knows what those years will throw at us. But the best thing about marrying your teenage sweetheart is knowing you are facing these challenges with the one person you dreamed this life up with. I don’t know about statistics but if anyone has a chance then surely it’s us?
Should the acquaintance I spoke to, who so freely brushed off her own daughter’s relationship, read this, may I ask in future that you are a little kinder, or at least more encouraging. This teenage
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girl’s relationship has just the same chance as yours does. She will experience her own ups and downs, but when times are tough don’t automatically write it off. Hold her hand through the tears, and raise a glass with her to toast the good times. If they can make it through the next decade fantastic, because there are no words to describe the joy of sharing a dream that comes true.
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Sarah Jarman - 3 May 17
Popping into the supermarket recently saw me bumping into an acquaintance. We stopped for a polite chat and somehow ended up discussing her teenage daughter and ‘the boyfriend’. The relationship is apparently serious but ‘won’t last’. It seems love in your teenage years is almost always doomed to failure, but there are some occasions when it does actually stand the test of time.
This year my husband and I celebrated fifteen years since the day we first hooked up at a birthday party. Like all teenage romances ours was also tarred with rumours of falling apart. My now husband had the reputation of ‘never staying with anyone longer than five minutes’, I had been labelled a ‘heart breaker’ at the end of my previous relationship, and then there was the upcoming university years to contend with. I am not saying it was a walk in the park. University was more like a ride on oblivion, up and down, on and off, breaks, break ups, you name it we probably had to deal with it, but here we are, fifteen years later, together.
As we hit this milestone I felt quite moved, not simply because of the length of time I have been with this man, but also because I have been witness to all the steps in his journey throughout adulthood so far. When we first met we were pretty much still children. Both filled with the naivety of youth, we spent evenings discussing our hopes for the future, our plans, our dreams. I feel blessed to say, we have been allowed to follow a path which, give or take, resembles something like the plan we drew up in adolescence. He became an architect, I became a writer, he may have not, as yet, been awarded with Riba awards. but It may happen. I am not yet a world famous author, but maybe one day. We live in a lovely area, have the beautiful children we wished for, the eager dog, the country views. So money is tight, we haven’t travelled the world yet, there is still plenty on the list to do, but we have time.
Like with all working adults, life is busy. We try not to take each other for granted, but sometimes we probably do. When I stop to look at the man I married there are definite changes from the boy I first met, there are a few more lines, the grey hairs, the tired eyes; our children help contribute to those. After a busy day, when he looks worn out, and I wonder if life is what he thought it would be, I ask if he is happy, after all this time he still replies that yes, we make him happy every day.
Today’s statistics show that almost half of marriages end in divorce. I like to think we will be one to stand the test of time. I am not oblivious to the challenges we will have to face. As we age no doubt at least one of us will suffer ill health, there may well be further years of financial burdens, and we haven’t even reached the stage where our two feisty girls become even feistier teenagers, heaven knows what those years will throw at us. But the best thing about marrying your teenage sweetheart is knowing you are facing these challenges with the one person you dreamed this life up with. I don’t know about statistics but if anyone has a chance then surely it’s us?
Should the acquaintance I spoke to, who so freely brushed off her own daughter’s relationship, read this, may I ask in future that you are a little kinder, or at least more encouraging. This teenage girl’s relationship has just the same chance as yours does. She will experience her own ups and downs, but when times are tough don’t automatically write it off. Hold her hand through the tears, and raise a glass with her to toast the good times. If they can make it through the next decade fantastic, because there are no words to describe the joy of sharing a dream that comes true.
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Primarily a Mum, aspiring Author, Freelance Writer and Artist, Blogger, Foodie and Jewellery Designer just having fun doing all the things I love! My portfolio available to view over on my website www.saspsdesigns.com
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