Maternity Leave – Day One

Roanna - 2 Jan 16

The out of office is on, the Blackberry is off, the suit jackets are packed away (with the suit dresses I outgrew a few months ago). I am now finally, officially on maternity leave! Forget Christmas, my birthday, a small lottery win – this is the best.

My plans for maternity leave (in addition to painlessly birthing a beautiful baby, and being shortlisted for mother of the year) include –

• having great hair
• honing my photography skills to a near-professional level
• eating an predominantly plant-based, organic diet
• losing not only all my baby weight, but an additional stone too
• writing my first novel
• filling my brain with enriching art, literature and films

By co-incidence, the first day of my maternity leave is also 1^st January – the day when all good things supposedly start. It’s symbolic, it’s fate. There’s going to be simply no stopping me. It’s perfect.

Except….

Today, day one, I have –

• not got dressed (or even out of last night’s pyjamas)
• not yet showered
• napped extensively
• eaten a bowl of Coco Pops
• checked Facebook, Instagram and Twitter…quite a few times
• texted my friend a picture of my comedy swollen ankles

It’s fair to say that I’ve had more productive starts to years. Even on New Year’s Days past, the ones spent with my head down the toilet, ejecting vast quantities of Sauvignon Blanc, I have at least washed. Is this a retirement-like struggle to cope with the breakdown of routine? Probably not, it’s only been a day. Is it a much-needed recovery of sleep after years of early starts? Possibly, though after months of pregnant-snoozing I’m hardly exhausted.

Or is it that I’m just a bit of a mum-slob already? I’m not sure – I think I’ll have to sleep on it…

Roanna

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