Me, me, me and the village or when did we all become so self-involved?

Charlotte Baird - 23 Sep 16

It takes a whole village to raise a child, it has been said. But where is that village? Does it exist? Is it out there and can it be found? Through my habits of people watching and over analysing, I have become particularly interested in the whole idea of community and friendship . As someone who has lived in Asia for several years, I faced culture shock on my return to the western world. On a daily basis, I find myself asking, when did we all become so self-centered?

It is not a characteristic confined solely to the west; people from all backgrounds and cultures can be self-centered. It is human nature. But the idea of community is part of Asian life, whether it is paid for help to care for your children or family involvement. We simply aren’t meant to live in isolation and raise children in our mini nuclear family units. But yet, someone along the way, we have all forgotten how to put ourselves to one side for a moment and care about other people. Somehow, in the midst of building our nuclear family of 2.4 children in a suburban semi, we got the idea that we can all do exactly what we want without a thought or a need for other people. It seems an inherently western trait for everyone to do exactly what they want and the loved ones in their lives have to fall in and fall by the way side. But yet I realise time and time again that I am the odd one out. Why make other people a priority when you are merely their option?

And it would be acceptable if we were all honest about it. Yet somehow, I am the person who is so badly out of sync. All that would be acceptable if our nuclear family, suburban semi and sense of self importance actually made us happy. But when I look at faces, I don’t see happiness. I see routine, self doubt and anxiety. Does the daily drive to our plentiful shops in our expensive family car make us happy? Do our possessions, our things and our measures of material success, make us happier than basic human manners? If it does, why aren’t more people driving around with their faces glowing with positivity rather than riddled with anxiety and depression?

We need to slow down and reconnect with our humanity. Show our children how to love and be loved. How to care about fellow human beings. Let’s not fall deeper down the rabbit hole of the selfie generation and remember our need for basic human kindness. Society is becoming starved of human kindness. Show your child how caring is done.

Charlotte Baird

I am the Editor of The Australia Times, Parenting. I am a mummy, writer and primary school teacher currently living in Wollongong, Australia with my husband, 2 girls, two cats and one dog.

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