More than just a mum.

Katie Colella - 25 Jun 18

Hey mums,

Firstly, let me get this straight. When I say ‘just’ mums. I don’t mean ‘just’ mums. Mums are amazing, The BEST. We rock and we are more than superhuman at times.

I just mean for us. For our own selves, many of us want and need something else.

I’m Katie, a business mentor helping women ( a lot of which are mums) get started in the online world of business. I’m also a mum to two and step-mum to three, they range from 21 down to 9, so there is always something going on with one of them.

For the past 11 years straight, I have been self-employed and love what I do. I’ve tried a lot. A sandwich bar (actually 2, but that’s another story), at 18, which I sold at 21. Then went back to employment for a few years. At 26 I started a guest house and catering business with my husband, I’ve had a few e-commerce attempts. The last one was brilliant- selling home and giftware, which I sold a couple of years ago. I started a VA business, now I’m helping other women in business start theirs as a mentor.

So, what is it I think you need?

For me, it has always been about clinging to some kind of independence I guess. When my husband first met me he used to call me Miss independent – ya know from the Kelly Clarkson song because I was so independent. Obviously, over the years there have been ups and downs and plenty of them, where I have needed help and support and I’m lucky I get that in droves from my husband, who lets me get back to feeling ready to rule the world single-handedly when I’m done with my wobble.

For you, this could be anything. Becoming a mum is amazing, there literally is nothing more fantastic and nothing else that we take for granted daily, that is actually nothing short of a miracle. However, I’ve always wanted more and I want to tell you, that that’s ok too. It’s ok to want more, to want to be more, to have time for you, time for the person you used to be and sometimes long to be again.

Being a mum (like hello, nobody tells you this is a full-time job, for like-EVER!), is bloody hard work and sometimes we need to feel we are more.

So, I thought I’d share a few ways that you can forget about being a mum just for a little while and be ‘you’

• Dance. Remember when you thought you were Beyonce before you had kids? Unleash that inner goddess and Queen Bey it. (My inner Beyonce makes several appearances each year, although she is struggling to keep up for the full dance routine these past few times- age catches up with us all!).
• Act silly. As an adult. Whether this be with your partner, friends or on your own. Occasionally, it’s good to just act a little carefree and silly and forget what being a proper grown-up adult is all about.
• Be you. When I first had children, mine were 21 months apart, I remember feeling like I’d lost my mojo and lost ‘me’ a little bit. The things I used to care about, were consumed with babies and toddlers and my conversation was boring even to me at times. So be YOU. Talk about things that interest you (apart from the kids) and do things that interest you – that don’t involve the kids.
• Date nights. If you have a partner make time for one another. My husband and I personally go away every year without our children. I know this isn’t for everyone and that’s fine. But it is absolute bliss. The kids get to spend a few days being spoilt by their grandparents and we get some time being adults again- husband and wife, not just mum and dad. And if we want to drink cocktails all afternoon, whilst reading by the pool, then that’s what we do. No kids to watch. Cocktails to drink- Heaven! Disclaimer- you WILL miss them. But it’s also worth it!
• Take time for you. Now, we all know, as a mum how hard it is to even drink a hot cup of tea, especially when you have little ones. But make that time and take your opportunities when you can. If the younger children nap, forget about the ironing for ten minutes, take the time just for you and have a breather. If you can take a short walk, nap, meditate, have a hot bath, take the opportunities when they come your way. If someone offers help – take it. Don’t be a martyr!
• Friends. Are hugely important. As much as it’s lovely to get together with friends with your whole tribe of kids too, it’s beautiful to be able to catch up occasionally as just friends where you can talk about any adult discussion you want-freely! I’m in a group of 9 fantastic friends and trying to arrange one night where we can all make it is a military operation- but worth it in the end when we all get to natter away for a few merry hours.
• Happy. Remember what else makes you happy apart from your beautiful bundle of joy? Is it a hobby you have? Something you like to read or watch or do? Try to connect with the things you love.

I hope these couple of simple ideas have helped you remember that you can be more than mum if that is what you want.

Each to their own and if you are blissfully happy being mum and nothing else, that is perfectly fab too. That is more than enough. You are more than enough. We are all more than enough.

If you are longing for the ‘balance’ between being a mum and running a business, but need some help, then drop me a message and let’s jump on a call to see how I can help.

Thanks for reading, gorgeous,

Katie xx

Katie Colella

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