close
SM-Stamp-Join-1
  • Selfish Mother is the most brilliant blogging platform. Join here for free & you can post a blog within minutes. We don't edit or approve your words before they go live - it's up to you. And, with our cool new 'squares' design - you can share your blog to Instagram, too. What are you waiting for? Come join in! We can't wait to read what YOU have to say...

  • Your basic information

  • Your account information

View as: GRID LIST

Mum Guilt – Does it ever go away?

1
I was recently invited onto the Lifestyle Newshound Podcast with Emma Forbes and Gemma Sheppard. We talked all things motherhood, confidence and my favourite subject – mum guilt. Talking to these highly successful ladies was great as we could connect and discuss topics which were instantly relatable. After the podcast, I sat and pondered. I wondered, if perhaps, mum guilt never really goes away.
When it comes to celebrities, mother of four, Victoria Beckham once told a journalist at The Telegraph that she finds motherhood a struggle. Victoria said “I
SelfishMother.com
2
travel for work when it’s necessary, and I miss them all the time when I am away… I love to hear their voices on the phone and seeing their faces – thank goodness for FaceTime. That sense of feeling connected makes being apart that little bit easier.”
So, if it’s a struggle for Victoria, then what hope is there for the rest of us? Many of us are often away from home for work related projects and that feeling of not being present can often make us feel guilty. But should we feel guilty? Naturally, I am assuming there is someone at home who
SelfishMother.com
3
loves them and cares for them just as much as we do. Does being away set a good example, or what kind of example? Or are we simply over thinking it?
Even in this 21st century, we are still expected to feel guilty about the choices we make.  Mums who go out to work are berated for leaving their children under the supervision of others, while mums who stay at home are sneered at for giving up their careers. It’s not fair. Then there’s the women who don’t have children and that is their choice, so we need to stop asking them when they are planning
SelfishMother.com
4
on starting a family.

Some women don’t have a choice. Many of us have to work. Many of us simply enjoy our work. Mothers across the world, regardless of whether they have a career or are a stay at home parent can relate to the contact struggles of trying to be the ‘best mother they can be’. I’m not sure my mother had all these worries and anxieties that we have today or was it just the case that they were better at hiding it? Whatever the case, the persistent need to speed up is seriously draining our batteries. Most of us are running on empty

SelfishMother.com
5
and if we are not gasping for coffee we are leaping forward for gin! For all of us, we need to try and slow down. I’m not sure how, but as soon as I figure it out, I’ll let you know.

What do you feel guilty about? Here are my top seven guilt triggers…

Relying on the TV to keep them entertained (whoops)
Feeling too tired to give my kids the attention I think they need
Wanting to have time away from my children every now and then
Wanting to go to work instead of being a stay-at-home mum
Telling my children white lies to avoid

SelfishMother.com
6
having to answer difficult questions
Not making baby weaning meals from scratch. A month’s supply of frozen baby meals. Who’s got time for that?

The reason I write about mum guilt is because talking about it helps me feel better about it. Anyone else trying to shake is off? I do hope I am not alone!

Signing off. Still…Guilty Mother…

Listen to Guilty Mother on the Lifestyle Newshound Podcast on SoundCloud or on iTunes.

SelfishMother.com

By

This blog was originally posted on SelfishMother.com - why not sign up & share what's on your mind, too?

Why not write for Selfish Mother, too? You can sign up for free and post immediately.


We regularly share posts on @SelfishMother Instagram and Facebook :)

- 19 Oct 17

I was recently invited onto the Lifestyle Newshound Podcast with Emma Forbes and Gemma Sheppard. We talked all things motherhood, confidence and my favourite subject – mum guilt. Talking to these highly successful ladies was great as we could connect and discuss topics which were instantly relatable. After the podcast, I sat and pondered. I wondered, if perhaps, mum guilt never really goes away.

When it comes to celebrities, mother of four, Victoria Beckham once told a journalist at The Telegraph that she finds motherhood a struggle. Victoria said “I travel for work when it’s necessary, and I miss them all the time when I am away… I love to hear their voices on the phone and seeing their faces – thank goodness for FaceTime. That sense of feeling connected makes being apart that little bit easier.”

So, if it’s a struggle for Victoria, then what hope is there for the rest of us? Many of us are often away from home for work related projects and that feeling of not being present can often make us feel guilty. But should we feel guilty? Naturally, I am assuming there is someone at home who loves them and cares for them just as much as we do. Does being away set a good example, or what kind of example? Or are we simply over thinking it?

Even in this 21st century, we are still expected to feel guilty about the choices we make.  Mums who go out to work are berated for leaving their children under the supervision of others, while mums who stay at home are sneered at for giving up their careers. It’s not fair. Then there’s the women who don’t have children and that is their choice, so we need to stop asking them when they are planning on starting a family.

Some women don’t have a choice. Many of us have to work. Many of us simply enjoy our work. Mothers across the world, regardless of whether they have a career or are a stay at home parent can relate to the contact struggles of trying to be the ‘best mother they can be’. I’m not sure my mother had all these worries and anxieties that we have today or was it just the case that they were better at hiding it? Whatever the case, the persistent need to speed up is seriously draining our batteries. Most of us are running on empty and if we are not gasping for coffee we are leaping forward for gin! For all of us, we need to try and slow down. I’m not sure how, but as soon as I figure it out, I’ll let you know.

What do you feel guilty about? Here are my top seven guilt triggers…

  1. Relying on the TV to keep them entertained (whoops)
  2. Feeling too tired to give my kids the attention I think they need
  3. Wanting to have time away from my children every now and then
  4. Wanting to go to work instead of being a stay-at-home mum
  5. Telling my children white lies to avoid having to answer difficult questions
  6. Not making baby weaning meals from scratch. A month’s supply of frozen baby meals. Who’s got time for that?

The reason I write about mum guilt is because talking about it helps me feel better about it. Anyone else trying to shake is off? I do hope I am not alone!

Signing off. Still…Guilty Mother…

Listen to Guilty Mother on the Lifestyle Newshound Podcast on SoundCloud or on iTunes.

Did you enjoy this post? If so please support the writer: like, share and comment!


Why not join the SM CLUB, too? You can share posts & events immediately. It's free!

Guilty Mother is an honest and (sometimes funny) blog for mums who feel guilty about juggling work, kids and home-life. Here's to feeling less guilty!

Post Tags


Keep up to date with Selfish Mother — Sign up for our newsletter and follow us on social media