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View as: GRID LIST

MUMPROVEMENT

1
We all know what a bore New Year’s resolutions can be.

Mainly because in my case they seem to be so repetitive. Before I was a mum I used to vow the same thing; drink less, lose weight, exercise, work more, drink wheatgrass/green tea/ kale or whatever the green of the year is. Well since I became a mum, I still probably harbour the same slightly doomed resolutions for myself but what has become apparent is that every new year my main resolution is to be a better mum.

I’m not a bad mum, I’m definitely not a terrible mum but I am far from

SelfishMother.com
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perfect. As a working, single mother to Xavier, my list of mum-improvement or, ahem – Mumprovement – is never quite empty. Xavier happens to have Down’s Syndrome, which I only mention because although it doesn’t seem to affect our relationship, I guess it gives me an extra layer of guilt, or an extra need to ensure that I am doing my absolute best for him; perhaps extra worry.

I was laying on the sofa, congratulating myself on our pyjama day as the weather outside was horrible. It was post-Christmas, we were surrounded by toys, watching Christmas

SelfishMother.com
3
films and eating chocolate coins, and we both seemed very happy. I had a pang though. Perhaps we should be wrapped up and running around the beach. Or going to the woods, doing a nature trail and looking for squirrels. If they were even around this time of year? You see, bad mum! I don’t even know the hibernation habits of squirrels.

And despite the fact that Xavier was having a lovely time, enjoying our rare decadence, there and then I made my annual vow to be a better mum. Because you see, like any child, he deserves the best and I’m just not

SelfishMother.com
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convinced he’s got it.

So in 2015 I would be healthier for my child. I will be so full of energy after drinking the green stuff of the year, (kale I believe). I will exercise to keep in shape for running around with him. I will drink less wine, because let’s face it, it is always going to be on the list. But more importantly I will not use the TV or the IPad as a babysitter while I work, or clean or tidy. In fact I will get up earlier to get things done, and I will go to bed later to make sure it was done.

I will have the patience of a saint

SelfishMother.com
5
doing Xavier’s homework with him every night despite the fact that he tries everything to get out of it, including usually closing his eyes and refusing to look at his reading book. I will never, absolutely never, get cross or give up. In the same vein I will never shout, if my son is naughty I will speak very calmly and serenely as I point out the error of his ways and maintain composure at all times despite the fact that I know he will take absolutely no notice of me.

I will brave the English weather to ensure that we do lots of healthy Famous

SelfishMother.com
6
Five type activities, which I will do with a huge smile on my face and bloody well enjoy every moment of it.

And I will cook food for him from scratch – I do cook for him a lot but I do have moments when lack of time mean fish fingers and beans come out but no more – I will actually even make my own fish fingers even if they do look a bit more like stubby toes.

2015 will be my year of being a super mum. I will battle the villain that is mother’s guilt, and I will over come all obstacles of domestic drudgery. My son and I will conquer family life

SelfishMother.com
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together. Yes we are unconventional and far from the typical family (whatever that is), but I won’t let that defeat us. We’ll be happy, healthy, adventurous and educational together.

So I guess we’ll check back in next year and see how I have done. I’m pretty sure that I’ll be saying roughly the same again. Although if I am saying it when having a lovely pyjama day with my son who is as happy and healthy as he was this year then I guess I’ll know I am doing something right. And the thing is the one thing I keep telling myself that as long

SelfishMother.com
8
as I am constantly trying to be a better mum, then I can’t be a bad one, can I?

Motherhood is different for all of us… if you’d like to share your thoughts, why not join our Network & start posting?

Tweet the author @FaithBleasdale

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- 6 Jan 15

We all know what a bore New Year’s resolutions can be.

Mainly because in my case they seem to be so repetitive. Before I was a mum I used to vow the same thing; drink less, lose weight, exercise, work more, drink wheatgrass/green tea/ kale or whatever the green of the year is. Well since I became a mum, I still probably harbour the same slightly doomed resolutions for myself but what has become apparent is that every new year my main resolution is to be a better mum.

I’m not a bad mum, I’m definitely not a terrible mum but I am far from perfect. As a working, single mother to Xavier, my list of mum-improvement or, ahem – Mumprovement – is never quite empty. Xavier happens to have Down’s Syndrome, which I only mention because although it doesn’t seem to affect our relationship, I guess it gives me an extra layer of guilt, or an extra need to ensure that I am doing my absolute best for him; perhaps extra worry.

I was laying on the sofa, congratulating myself on our pyjama day as the weather outside was horrible. It was post-Christmas, we were surrounded by toys, watching Christmas films and eating chocolate coins, and we both seemed very happy. I had a pang though. Perhaps we should be wrapped up and running around the beach. Or going to the woods, doing a nature trail and looking for squirrels. If they were even around this time of year? You see, bad mum! I don’t even know the hibernation habits of squirrels.

And despite the fact that Xavier was having a lovely time, enjoying our rare decadence, there and then I made my annual vow to be a better mum. Because you see, like any child, he deserves the best and I’m just not convinced he’s got it.

So in 2015 I would be healthier for my child. I will be so full of energy after drinking the green stuff of the year, (kale I believe). I will exercise to keep in shape for running around with him. I will drink less wine, because let’s face it, it is always going to be on the list. But more importantly I will not use the TV or the IPad as a babysitter while I work, or clean or tidy. In fact I will get up earlier to get things done, and I will go to bed later to make sure it was done.

I will have the patience of a saint doing Xavier’s homework with him every night despite the fact that he tries everything to get out of it, including usually closing his eyes and refusing to look at his reading book. I will never, absolutely never, get cross or give up. In the same vein I will never shout, if my son is naughty I will speak very calmly and serenely as I point out the error of his ways and maintain composure at all times despite the fact that I know he will take absolutely no notice of me.

I will brave the English weather to ensure that we do lots of healthy Famous Five type activities, which I will do with a huge smile on my face and bloody well enjoy every moment of it.

And I will cook food for him from scratch – I do cook for him a lot but I do have moments when lack of time mean fish fingers and beans come out but no more – I will actually even make my own fish fingers even if they do look a bit more like stubby toes.

2015 will be my year of being a super mum. I will battle the villain that is mother’s guilt, and I will over come all obstacles of domestic drudgery. My son and I will conquer family life together. Yes we are unconventional and far from the typical family (whatever that is), but I won’t let that defeat us. We’ll be happy, healthy, adventurous and educational together.

So I guess we’ll check back in next year and see how I have done. I’m pretty sure that I’ll be saying roughly the same again. Although if I am saying it when having a lovely pyjama day with my son who is as happy and healthy as he was this year then I guess I’ll know I am doing something right. And the thing is the one thing I keep telling myself that as long as I am constantly trying to be a better mum, then I can’t be a bad one, can I?

Motherhood is different for all of us… if you’d like to share your thoughts, why not join our Network & start posting?

Tweet the author @FaithBleasdale

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Faith Bleasdale is a writer and single mother. She has one son, Xavier who is five years old. He happens to have Down's Syndrome, but is a bright, strong individual. They live together in North Devon where they enjoy the both beach an Country life. Faith is the author of several novels and her most recent book Happily Ever After is about motherhood and her life with Xavier. Check out her fab blog, Winning Hands Down.

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