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View as: GRID LIST

Mums The Word: Shush!

1
1.Dark Skies
Waiting in the infinite coffee queue, I struck up a typical British conversation by complaining about the cold, grey, depressing weather that had dulled the morning sky.  The tone darkened as quickly as the rain filled clouds, when my queuing friend asked what occupied my time,  ”writing & blogging” I cheerily replied.

A  patronising eye roll followed, with a dramatic tut  before he loudly announced “oh god you’re not one of THOSE are you?” “One of what?” I breezily replied. “You know, a moaning mum about how shit

SelfishMother.com
2
you are at parenting and how much wine you drink”?

I was a little speechless (unheard of) at his slanted view on bloggers, so I turned my back to him, shrank into my Superga’s and focused on getting my caffeine fix before the rain dampened my already heavy mood.

I wish I’d said:

 ”Ah thank you for mansplaining that to me, I will bear that in mind (not) next time I’m writing a blog for one of the most successful blogazines currently in the UK;  who have donated nearly 1 million to charity, and holds within its blogosphere a plethora of

SelfishMother.com
3
amazing mothers and fathers who have a flair for creativity, observational humour, and above all, support for one another.  I’ll be sure to pass that on to the powers that be at www.SelfishMother.com and said charities that they support”. 

Ah, but hindsight, is a wonderful thing………
2.Dark Days
Shockingly, it’s only  recently that postnatal depression, anxiety, menopause, infertility, miscarriages and  difficult childbirths were all bundled together under the umbrella of ’mass hysteria’ . Woman were moulded as one faceless hysterical

SelfishMother.com
4
blob who had no voice and no individuality. 

I feel immense sadness thinking that perhaps our grandmothers and own mothers endured the dark side of motherhood in silence.  The concept of  a world web connecting all (wo)mankind was not conceived until the early 1990’s. Before that our mums social circles were mainly limited to where they lived and worked.

This platform has enabled me to blog about my experience with IVF and the postnatal depression that followed.  Without the global fertility forums that I desperately sought out, I would have

SelfishMother.com
5
tumbled further into the black hole of  IVF depression. Thousands of supportive voices via the internet lifted me out of that hole, guiding me out of those dark days. Those woman were walking the same unfamiliar road as me, and understood the ’living grief’ of trying to conceive a much longed for child. 
3.Brighter Days
I’ve been fluttering around the edges of the blog world for a while, and it’s only recently I’ve taken flight into it.  For years, I’ve been in awe of the honest and funny blogs posted here. Contrary to popular opinion,
SelfishMother.com
6
we’re not swigging prosecco for breakfast (unless on holiday, coz who doesn’t love a cava for breakfast on your hols). We can now celebrate the notion that we no longer have to mould ourselves into the perceived ideal mother – we are all unique mothers.

Michelle Obama has presented sell out tours in London this month.  She has been open and authentic about her experience with IVF , and the stress it has put on her marriage to Mr O.  Hurrah Michelle! I thought I couldn’t love you anymore after you quoted with utter conviction, “when they go

SelfishMother.com
7
low, you go higher;” therefore my coffee queue friend, if tomorrow, caffeinated fate entwines us once again,  I will wish you good vibes and happiness.

Perhaps, if you’re lucky I’ll buy you a hot chocolate (with marshmallows) to sweeten your view on the parent blogging world;  stand up tall and explain that Mums are the word, and we’ve literally millions more to put in our blogs!

SelfishMother.com

By

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- 14 Nov 18

1.Dark Skies

Waiting in the infinite coffee queue, I struck up a typical British conversation by complaining about the cold, grey, depressing weather that had dulled the morning sky.  The tone darkened as quickly as the rain filled clouds, when my queuing friend asked what occupied my time,  “writing & blogging” I cheerily replied.

A  patronising eye roll followed, with a dramatic tut  before he loudly announced “oh god you’re not one of THOSE are you?” “One of what?” I breezily replied. “You know, a moaning mum about how shit you are at parenting and how much wine you drink”?

I was a little speechless (unheard of) at his slanted view on bloggers, so I turned my back to him, shrank into my Superga’s and focused on getting my caffeine fix before the rain dampened my already heavy mood.

I wish I’d said:

 “Ah thank you for mansplaining that to me, I will bear that in mind (not) next time I’m writing a blog for one of the most successful blogazines currently in the UK;  who have donated nearly 1 million to charity, and holds within its blogosphere a plethora of amazing mothers and fathers who have a flair for creativity, observational humour, and above all, support for one another.  I’ll be sure to pass that on to the powers that be at www.SelfishMother.com and said charities that they support”. 

Ah, but hindsight, is a wonderful thing………

2.Dark Days

Shockingly, it’s only  recently that postnatal depression, anxiety, menopause, infertility, miscarriages and  difficult childbirths were all bundled together under the umbrella of ‘mass hysteria’ . Woman were moulded as one faceless hysterical blob who had no voice and no individuality. 

I feel immense sadness thinking that perhaps our grandmothers and own mothers endured the dark side of motherhood in silence.  The concept of  a world web connecting all (wo)mankind was not conceived until the early 1990’s. Before that our mums social circles were mainly limited to where they lived and worked.

This platform has enabled me to blog about my experience with IVF and the postnatal depression that followed.  Without the global fertility forums that I desperately sought out, I would have tumbled further into the black hole of  IVF depression. Thousands of supportive voices via the internet lifted me out of that hole, guiding me out of those dark days. Those woman were walking the same unfamiliar road as me, and understood the ‘living grief’ of trying to conceive a much longed for child. 

3.Brighter Days

I’ve been fluttering around the edges of the blog world for a while, and it’s only recently I’ve taken flight into it.  For years, I’ve been in awe of the honest and funny blogs posted here. Contrary to popular opinion, we’re not swigging prosecco for breakfast (unless on holiday, coz who doesn’t love a cava for breakfast on your hols). We can now celebrate the notion that we no longer have to mould ourselves into the perceived ideal mother – we are all unique mothers.

Michelle Obama has presented sell out tours in London this month.  She has been open and authentic about her experience with IVF , and the stress it has put on her marriage to Mr O.  Hurrah Michelle! I thought I couldn’t love you anymore after you quoted with utter conviction, “when they go low, you go higher;” therefore my coffee queue friend, if tomorrow, caffeinated fate entwines us once again,  I will wish you good vibes and happiness.

Perhaps, if you’re lucky I’ll buy you a hot chocolate (with marshmallows) to sweeten your view on the parent blogging world;  stand up tall and explain that Mums are the word, and we’ve literally millions more to put in our blogs!

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Mum to Zachary; Idealist; belief in humanity; Graduate in Psychology; trainee Psychotherapist (specialising in woman's mental health), aspiring freelance writer with a passion in understanding what modern feminism means for mothers, and finally....... a Prosecco opener extraordinaire!

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