MumsSolo

Jennifer Gosling - 27 Feb 19

I used to blog, I’d spend 4hrs a day commuting on the trains in London. Usually about weight loss or some kind of 30 day ‘look how great my life is’ challenge.

Three years ago I became a Mum, and 2018 started me along the path of solo parenting. I don’t refer to myself as a single parent, although technically that’s what I am from a relationship perspective, on a day to day basis I take on 99% of the parenting duties, but in place of what turned out to be a toxic relationship, I have found love in family and friends I didn’t see before, and my little girl is so loved.

I came across Selfish Mother and Good Tees when I became a Mum, the joys of midnight web browsing and the new social media suggestions you have appear. I’ve come to the conclusion that my ex-partner didn’t want children as he felt they got in his way, stopped him having fun, and meant HE wasn’t the centre of attention. I however feel so proud to be a parent, and a SOLO parent at that. I work a 36hr week, I commute 4hrs a day now by car, my daughter loves her new nursery, and we’re both settling into our new home – all changes we made after the seperation.

We spend weekends being a toddler, days out, zoos, swimming, and seeing family. The move bought us closer to my parents and my family and I have never felt so loved and supported as I do now. I wear the label of PARENT with pride, and I have grown up so much since the point at which my daughters little hand wrapped itself around a single finger.

All of the hard decisions I have to make, the adult decisions, are made with her in mind, one day she’ll ask WHY I’ve made the decisions I have, including why I left her father, and with that in mind I make decisions with integrity, have difficult conversations because they are the RIGHT conversations to have, and only surround myself with people who love me without question.

I wear my Selfish Mother jumpers and tees with pride, I love being a parent above anything else, and I am proud that I also manage to (almost) parent solo. I am not ashamed to be single, people give you that ‘look’ when they realise you’re a single parent like there is something ‘wrong’ with you. I would rather be single than in a relationship that isn’t right, and I know one day my daughter will understand our journey and feel proud of me, too.

Me and my daughter have never been closer – we laugh together, cry together, share success together, and the odd failure together. We keep going, we keep each other going, and we always make sure we have a smile on our face. I walk down the street feeling so proud of her and of us, I would love to have a father figure present in her life one day (currently a role held by Grandad), and a partner in crime for me, we will always be a great team and I wouldn’t have it any…other…way.

We come as a pair, and that’s ok – we’re not a burden, we’re not boring, we don’t hold you back.

We are selfish, and my jumper says so.

Jennifer Gosling

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