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My Miscarriages Were Not Statistics
1 in 90 pregnancies in the UK are ectopic.
The overall risk of miscarriage under 12 weeks in known pregnancies is 1 in 5. In women with a BMI over 30, the risk is 1 in 4.
Up to 75% of miscarriages happen in the first trimester.
About 1 in 100 women in the UK experience recurrent miscarriages.
A UK-based study of 1,700 women reported that obese (BMI of 30-39.9) women had a significantly higher incidence of early and recurrent early miscarriages compared
1 in 5 women in the UK who experience miscarriage have anxiety levels similar to people attending psychiatric outpatient services.
A third of women in the UK attending specialist clinics as a result of miscarriage are clinically depressed.
Source – Tommy’s.org
When you look at numbers like this on a page it makes miscarriage seem as though it’s just one of
I wanted to bring it out of the dark and onto a page, so I’m sharing my story of miscarriage with you all here.
I was 22, madly in love and starting our family. Excited and
The weeks went by in a blur of sharing our news, planning our new lives, throwing around names and guessing whether we were having a son or a daughter.
By week 13 we were finally off to see our baby. We headed to the hospital a big ball of expectation and excitement. I got on the couch, she whacked a glob of slime on my expanding baby bump and we all stared
“I’m afraid there’s no heartbeat, the fetus is around 9 weeks”
“But I’m still feeling sick? My bump is still growing, I’m not bleeding? How could I not have known? How could my body be so cruel as to not alert me but allow me to carry on like normal?”
“I can’t tell you how or why but I can tell you that 1 in 3 women miscarry”
I was in shock, it was like I had been hit by a truck, I couldn’t make any sense of it and all I could hear in full volume was “1
I had to be admitted, I was on a geriatric ward as there were no beds in the more appropriate wards, with my baby dead inside me. I had a Surgical management of miscarriage (SMM) and was sent home.
That night between huge, all encompassing sobs I apologised to my partner, I felt solely
Dark dark times.
Then came the follow up appointment with the GP. I was still fragile, still confused, still angry, and then I saw him scrawl on my notes;missed abortion! I felt my heart fall and my
Fast forward 3 kids and 8 years. I’m expecting my 4th, I’m in a new relationship, again, naive to the statics that had been shared with me all those years ago and having had 3 children it didn’t occur to me that I may ever miscarry again. And then I started to bleed.
We went in for a scan already
I went home and I waited, and then it started. It was painful and relentless, it was tragic and sad, it was my body working it’s hardest to quicken the process (I wondered if it had heard me last time when I asked how my body could have
And then the 3rd day. I had promised my daughter (8) that we would go to London to the Royal Wedding (we love the Cambridges) of course she had no clue of what I was secretly going through. I had to summon the strength put it aside for a day and take her to see the princess.
We got the tube, me stopping to find toilets every half hour to change my blood
My miscarriages are part of our family (even if just in my mind, we didn’t share this with our kids), 2 of my babies who didn’t make it to the outside, 2 life experiences that were up there with my most painful, not only physically but the mental pain that stays with me to this day, bringing tears back to my
When we think of miscarriage we shouldn’t naturally assume that statistics make it easier or more understandable. I don’t want to consider that 2 of my biggest and toughest life experiences were minimised because it happens far too often.
If you or anyone you know go through miscarriage, know that you’re not just a statistic, you are a mum who never got to hold their baby.
Fly high gorgeous babies <3
“Miscarriage can be a very unhappy and frightening and lonely
If you have been affected by miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy or molar pregnancy, we hope you will find here the information and support that you need to help you through.” – Miscarriage Association