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MY PARTNERS IN CRIME

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I love this quote by Kate Moss.

I love it because of the images it conjures up. I imagine Kate and Lila embarking on adventures together, having good times, as friends and equals, both benefitting from each other’s company; turning that mother / daughter relationship on its head.

And I like that way of thinking about my kids, too. As partners in crime.

Because you know what? They are my partners. I have fun with them on a daily basis. They make me laugh. We have intelligent conversations. They make me rethink my view of the world. We go

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places together. We cook up secret plans. We have in-jokes. We thrive on each other’s company. We know each other intimately. We trust each other. We operate on a level. WE. ARE. A. TEAM.

And yet.. when I talk about my kids to other people I rarely say this.

Instead I talk about the things that parents talk about: how they woke me up early; the clever things they learned at school; how cute they are; how proud I am that they love curry; how annoying it is when they repeat themselves a million times. I talk about them from the ‘parent’

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perspective, from the ‘boss’ perspective, as if they’re my subjects and I’m observing their behaviour.

But in day-to-day life, I don’t just observe them. I hang out with them!

As well as being my kids, they’re my friends. My best friends in fact. They know me better than anyone else apart from my husband. They know when I need ‘Mother Time’ – as Rafferty calls it. They don’t care if I look an absolute mess. They’re happy to hug me in bed when I’m snoring. They’ll kiss me when I have morning breath. They see me naked. They

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let me see them naked. They are the only people I would ever let sit on my lap while I go to the toilet. They are the only people whom I’d loll about unselfconsciously in the bath with.

And them being my friends is something that I absolutely love. But I also find it kind of ironic because, pre-kids, I used to find it a bit schmatlzy-saccharine, whenever someone famous – like Emma Bunton – would say in the papers, “My mum is my best friend.”

I used to think how twee… pass the sick bucket… toughen up, love!

Sorry Emma, I now realise how

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wrong I was. Because now I see it. Now I think it’s pretty damn cool; to be friends with your kids. To get on so well that you can put aside the ‘boss / being bossed’ relationship and just have a great time together. On a level. No-one judging. Disregarding the roles of parents and children for snatches of time that seem magical. Everyone just chilling out together. Just being.

Just partners in crime.

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- 6 Feb 16

I love this quote by Kate Moss.

I love it because of the images it conjures up. I imagine Kate and Lila embarking on adventures together, having good times, as friends and equals, both benefitting from each other’s company; turning that mother / daughter relationship on its head.

And I like that way of thinking about my kids, too. As partners in crime.

Because you know what? They are my partners. I have fun with them on a daily basis. They make me laugh. We have intelligent conversations. They make me rethink my view of the world. We go places together. We cook up secret plans. We have in-jokes. We thrive on each other’s company. We know each other intimately. We trust each other. We operate on a level. WE. ARE. A. TEAM.

And yet.. when I talk about my kids to other people I rarely say this.

Instead I talk about the things that parents talk about: how they woke me up early; the clever things they learned at school; how cute they are; how proud I am that they love curry; how annoying it is when they repeat themselves a million times. I talk about them from the ‘parent’ perspective, from the ‘boss’ perspective, as if they’re my subjects and I’m observing their behaviour.

But in day-to-day life, I don’t just observe them. I hang out with them!

As well as being my kids, they’re my friends. My best friends in fact. They know me better than anyone else apart from my husband. They know when I need ‘Mother Time’ – as Rafferty calls it. They don’t care if I look an absolute mess. They’re happy to hug me in bed when I’m snoring. They’ll kiss me when I have morning breath. They see me naked. They let me see them naked. They are the only people I would ever let sit on my lap while I go to the toilet. They are the only people whom I’d loll about unselfconsciously in the bath with.

And them being my friends is something that I absolutely love. But I also find it kind of ironic because, pre-kids, I used to find it a bit schmatlzy-saccharine, whenever someone famous – like Emma Bunton – would say in the papers, “My mum is my best friend.”

I used to think how twee… pass the sick bucket… toughen up, love!

Sorry Emma, I now realise how wrong I was. Because now I see it. Now I think it’s pretty damn cool; to be friends with your kids. To get on so well that you can put aside the ‘boss / being bossed’ relationship and just have a great time together. On a level. No-one judging. Disregarding the roles of parents and children for snatches of time that seem magical. Everyone just chilling out together. Just being.

Just partners in crime.

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Molly Gunn is the Curator of Goodness at Selfish Mother, a site she created for likeminded women in 2013. Molly has been a journalist for over 15 years, starting out on fashion desks at The Guardian, The Telegraph & ES Magazine before going freelance in 2006 to write for publications including Red, Stella, Grazia, Net-A-Porter and ELLE. She now edits Selfish Mother and creates #GoodTees which are sold via TheFMLYStore.com and John Lewis and have so far raised £650K for charity. Molly is mother to Rafferty, 5, Fox, 3 and baby Liberty. Molly is married to Tom, aka music producer Tee Mango and founder of Millionhands. They live, work and play in Somerset.

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