My Son Started School Last Week….

Nicola Semple - 20 Sep 16

My son started school last week and I don’t miss him.

Seven years ago when I set out on this crazy journey called parenthood I knew that being around for my kids was going to be a big priority for me.

Although it went against all of my natural sensibilities…. my education, my background, my personality(!) I knew that it was time to cut ties with the corporate world, become a full time care giver for my kids and then work our ‘what I was going to do with the rest of my life’.

It felt uncomfortable.

I knew where I stood in the corporate world. I knew how to do things and how to get things done. I knew absolutely nothing about looking after young children. In fact, I wasn’t sure that I even liked young children.

It felt lazy.

There were thousands of people every day making ‘the juggle’ work. They figured out a way to do the nursery drop offs and pick-ups and still hold their own in the ‘real world’. Was I being a cop out by deciding not to join in?

While conversations with other mothers revolved around the military timetable required to get out of the door in the morning, I was luxuriating in early morning snuggles and maybe, just maybe, heading out for a potter around the park about 10am.

It felt borderline negligent. 

Was I depriving them of the experience of nursery with the exciting scheduled activities and beautifully designed, child-centric outside space? Was I depriving them of having playmates on tap and perhaps even stunting their development because they weren’t socialising enough?

I questioned whether I had made the right choice. Surely my children were being under stimulated spending the day with just me and the occasional (!) half hour of CBeebies.

And then my confidence as a parent grew and I started to own the decision that I had made. When asked why I hadn’t returned to work, I no longer used the excuse of ‘we have no family nearby to help out’ or ‘we couldn’t both commute to London‘.

I started to tell the truth.

I wanted to be the one to bring up my own kids. 

And raising your own children on a full time basis is not the norm anymore.

Truth be told, I found being at home with young children dull. I get bored quickly so the endless repetition of The Very Hungry Caterpillar and the six million attempts at teaching the difference between left and right were not my forte.

But I wouldn’t have had it any other way. 

As my daughter got older she went to pre-school and then started school 3 years ago. My son followed suit and he ventured off on his own path of pre-school and last week he started full time school.

I have had so many comments about how I must be ‘lost without him’, and ‘don’t worry, you’ll get used to not having him around’.

I don’t feel remotely lost without him. Within about 0.1 seconds of dropping him off at school I was kicking my heels together in glee and revelling in the fact that I didn’t have him around!

Our school host a ‘Tea and Tissues’ party after drop off to give the parents that need it a quiet space and a shoulder to cry on.

I didn’t attend. Instead I hosted a ‘Cava and Cake’ party instead to celebrate my new found freedom.

It’s ‘the end of an era’ I am told. And ‘it’s sad the baby years are behind you’.

I totally disagree.

The baby years are awesome, seeing their little personalities develop and the learning, oh the constant learning and the accompanying questions! The delight of the silly things that they come up with, ‘Uptown Funk’ will forever be ‘Up Down Funky One’ in my house.

It was a wonderful, precious time for all of us. I love my children with every fibre of my being.

But I am not sad that those years are over. Time has moved on and I can’t keep them little forever. All I can do is be grateful that I was true to myself and made the decision to be around for them.

It is the end of an era….. But oh my goodness it is the start of a really exciting one.

They are both growing and learning and turning into incredible little human beings.

And as for me?

For the last 3 years in nap times and 3 hour nursery slots I have slowly (achingly slowly at times) been building my business.

The liberation of being able to devote 30 hours a week for 40 weeks of the year to something that is ALL MINE is intoxicating!!!

So for all the mothers who dropped their kids at school for the first time over the last few weeks, please don’t be sad that it is the end of an era. Instead embrace this new and exciting chapter in your family’s journey together.

It will be exactly what you make it. So make it awesome.

Nicola Semple

Mum of 2, Helper of (very) small businesses, Author of 'Staying Home With The Kids: Stay Sane, Stay 'You' and Enjoy Your Time At Home With Your Little People'.

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