My Weekday Morning Routine

Dinosaurs And Glitter - 5 Dec 16

5:30am

My alarm clock goes off; not my actual alarm clock, I haven’t been woken up by that in years; rather my toddler alarm clock ‘MMMMUUUMMMMEEEEEEE, MMMUUUMMEEEE’

5:32am

The toddler is in bed with us, and, wait for it (because this is a shinning example of great parenting) watching ‘Octonauts’ on my iPhone (other strange, talking animal based children’s entertainment shows are available)

5:45am

Being kicked by a toddler has finally become too much and we are now downstairs preparing breakfast; this is the most complicated bit of my day as I need to ensure the correct level of sogginess for the toddlers Weetabix. Serve it to him too crunchy or too soggy and its meltdown time.

5:50am

My other half has now got the baby up and she is ready for her porridge; luckily she has not yet reached the fussy age, she is just happy to have something to smear all over her face and the table.

6:10am

Assuming the Weetabix was to my toddlers exacting standards breakfast is now over and it’s just the small matter of getting everyone dressed.

6:30am

We have finally made it back upstairs to get dressed; now the fun begins.

6:45am

After much negotiation the toddler has gone for a wee on the potty, had his teeth cleaned and has taken his pyjamas off. He is now butt naked and removing every item of clothing from his chest of drawers because I stupidly asked him to ‘pick some socks’. Meanwhile baby battleground is ensuing whilst I fight her into her vest.

7:10am

The toddler and baby are FINALLY dressed after many arguments and much wriggling. I have no doubt, shouted, coaxed, threatened and if running really late resorted to bribery to achieve this.

7:15am

I have just checked the children’s nursery bags and realised that all of their spare clothes from yesterday are actually dirty so I need to somehow find them at least one cleanish change of clothes each. There’s also no doubt some form or activity sheet that needs completing that I have only just noticed. The best one was when I had to find and adhere to the activity sheet twelve green items, who has a green button, paperclip, balloon and nine other equally obscure green items just lying around?

7:25am

I am now myself washed, clothed and have at least a minimal amount of make-up on; if I’m really lucky I may have even straightened my hair; or at least put it in a bun as that way I only have to straighten the front. This will all have been done whilst acting out some complex role-play with the toddler (normally dinosaurs, in which I am mummy dinosaur, toddler is baby dinosaur and there is inevitably something ‘coming to get us’) and whilst preventing the baby from falling off of the bed and or eating my make-up.

7:29am

After having sorted out my hair for the second time, as the toddler often likes to style it for me (I don’t see him having a glittering career as a hairdresser if current attempts are anything to go by) I am ready to go. Just time to grab a banana to eat on the way to work and give the children a kiss, cuddle, high five and fist bump and I’m off. The husband has the joy of coaxing them to nursery whilst I get to go to work, grab a (hot) cup of coffee and have 5 minutes in the ladies to fix my make-up / hair / wipe undetermined baby related stain from work outfit with emergency baby wipes.

But at least I get a lie in at the weekend………..I wish.

Dinosaurs And Glitter

I am a mum of two adorable young children; trying to navigate the task of raising two small human beings and holding down a full time job whilst maintaining some form of sanity.

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