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Not. A. Scooby.

1
Its the end of another day. A long day. A reeeaallly long day in fact. Im in bed, both kids are in their beds (for how long God only knows) and I just thought. Do you all actually know what you are doing? Because I certainly don’t.

Before having kids I will admit I was always the first to judge. Id see kids in blazing heat with no sun hat on, and think how irresponsible the parents were, only to now realise the struggle of getting a hat onto the sweaty head of a tired, screaming and in that moment, quite frankly hideous toddler.

I have two boys.

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2
20 months and 6 months. I wouldn’t change them…. Well. I say that. I love them dearly. Of course I do. But dear god there are days!! And that’s what makes me question myself, am I cut out for this? I don’t know what I am doing!!!

Each night I go to bed, I look at their angelic faces and plan tomorrow’s adventures. We will wake up and have a breakfast picnic. We will get dressed and walk to the park to run around before we come home for a nice healthy lunch before nap time. Who am I kidding?! If we are dressed by lunchtime it’s a miracle and

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3
more often than not its pitta bread and hummus with a babybel for lunch. The youngest doesn’t eat yet. Well he didn’t, until the day I was so tired I shoved a spoonful of weetabix into the wrong child (shock horror). He actually quite liked it, he didn’t puke which can only be a plus.

The nights. THE NIGHTS!! There are nights when there’s a 20 minute window where if I get the big one to bed I can be downstairs again by the time the little one has woken from his inconvenient nap time. That is my ideal night. But there are other nights. The nights i

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4
want to scream. And cry. And walk out. And drop kick a child out of the window. When they scream and whine and I feel like I can’t cope anymore. But I go to bed after those nights and realise I can. I did cope. And tomorrow is another day. I will do it. I can.

The things I said I wouldn’t do.

Co sleep. In 19 months I am yet to experience a night without a finger or toe up my nose.

Feed them microwave meals or ”beige food”. My son is becoming a lover of nuggets, chips and peas.

Let them watch copious amounts of TV. Back to back Peppa Pig

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5
has saved the day many times. I actually quite like it.

What I’m trying to get at is I’m not a perfect mother. Far from it. But my children are loved, fed, clothed (sometimes) and happy.

Nobody tells you that bit at the antenatal group. It’s hard. It’s more than hard but you do what you know best. I do my best and hope that my boys will grow to be half decent humans! But for now I will end by saying it again. I don’t have a clue what I’m doing. Not a scooby doo.

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- 8 Feb 16

Its the end of another day. A long day. A reeeaallly long day in fact. Im in bed, both kids are in their beds (for how long God only knows) and I just thought. Do you all actually know what you are doing? Because I certainly don’t.

Before having kids I will admit I was always the first to judge. Id see kids in blazing heat with no sun hat on, and think how irresponsible the parents were, only to now realise the struggle of getting a hat onto the sweaty head of a tired, screaming and in that moment, quite frankly hideous toddler.

I have two boys. 20 months and 6 months. I wouldn’t change them…. Well. I say that. I love them dearly. Of course I do. But dear god there are days!! And that’s what makes me question myself, am I cut out for this? I don’t know what I am doing!!!

Each night I go to bed, I look at their angelic faces and plan tomorrow’s adventures. We will wake up and have a breakfast picnic. We will get dressed and walk to the park to run around before we come home for a nice healthy lunch before nap time. Who am I kidding?! If we are dressed by lunchtime it’s a miracle and more often than not its pitta bread and hummus with a babybel for lunch. The youngest doesn’t eat yet. Well he didn’t, until the day I was so tired I shoved a spoonful of weetabix into the wrong child (shock horror). He actually quite liked it, he didn’t puke which can only be a plus.

The nights. THE NIGHTS!! There are nights when there’s a 20 minute window where if I get the big one to bed I can be downstairs again by the time the little one has woken from his inconvenient nap time. That is my ideal night. But there are other nights. The nights i want to scream. And cry. And walk out. And drop kick a child out of the window. When they scream and whine and I feel like I can’t cope anymore. But I go to bed after those nights and realise I can. I did cope. And tomorrow is another day. I will do it. I can.

The things I said I wouldn’t do.

Co sleep. In 19 months I am yet to experience a night without a finger or toe up my nose.

Feed them microwave meals or “beige food”. My son is becoming a lover of nuggets, chips and peas.

Let them watch copious amounts of TV. Back to back Peppa Pig has saved the day many times. I actually quite like it.

What I’m trying to get at is I’m not a perfect mother. Far from it. But my children are loved, fed, clothed (sometimes) and happy.

Nobody tells you that bit at the antenatal group. It’s hard. It’s more than hard but you do what you know best. I do my best and hope that my boys will grow to be half decent humans! But for now I will end by saying it again. I don’t have a clue what I’m doing. Not a scooby doo.
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Sarah. Mum to two (sometimes) lovely boys. Learning this motherhood malarkey as I go along. Instagram @flinty1 Lover of white wine daily!

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