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View as: GRID LIST

Not Perfect…

1
Nothing can prepare you for motherhood. You can read every book, have every gadget and have googled everything from nappy rash to sleep deprivation. (Which nobody ever honestly tells you the truth about!) Even if you feel like the most organised person who has a plan for everything. (Eek!!!) You now need a plan B too, or just no plan at all! Feeding and nap times can feel like military operations, going for a weekend away now needs enough organising, planning and packing for a small tour maybe a normal one. Even the contents of the changing bag requires
SelfishMother.com
2
a check list every time you leave base. Basically you really should just be prepared for anything…

It was our first night out after having our second child, Ben. We had been invited to a friend’s surprise 40th birthday party weeks ago and I jumped at the chance of looking forward to a proper night out. I had meticulously planned everything but trying to find an outfit I felt comfortable in was difficult as I tried to disguise my mummy tummy, well what was left of Ben’s snuggly home for last nine months. Eventually I had it all sorted clothes,

SelfishMother.com
3
shoes, bag, makeup, hair the lot! I had booked the babysitter, well… my mother-in- law came to stay. She arrived the day before so I knew there would be no stress as to whether she would get here on time and that she would be around whilst I got ready so I wouldn’t have to rush and really enjoy the getting ready part. (You know like you did when you were younger and getting ready for a night out required a whole day of preparations!!!)

Our lift was sorted, my friend Sarah would pick us up in plenty of time. I had emergency distraction crafts for my

SelfishMother.com
4
eldest, Ella, at the ready and treats for her night in with grandma day care! Things were organised and planned.

I had a nice relaxing bath with no interruptions, that was a miracle in itself as my seven year old would usually burst into the bathroom to sit on the toilet and delightfully inform me that she’s having a number two!!!

I was surprised that things were going well so far, moisturised – check, deodorised – check, make up – check, hair – check, perfume – check, jewellery – check! Husband home from work – check!!!!!! So I just had my

SelfishMother.com
5
clothes to put on, I knew the trousers would be fine as they were the ONLY trousers I had that actually fitted me properly. I had reluctantly taken Gok’s advice and had ordered my actual size. (It really does make sense!) As me and my husband were nearing readiness, my Ella had now come up to the bedroom to tell us she didn’t want us to go out and that we should stay at home! The thought of just putting my pjs on and jumping into bed to catch up on my sleep was a really tempting option right now as I stood looking in the mirror feeling like the size of
SelfishMother.com
6
a house! The top which was perfect a few days ago now just wasn’t right. (I silently screamed in my head…”this is why I don’t go out!!!”) Ella was sat on my bed still complaining about us going out and then my husband starts his unhelpful comments on my outfit and how it’s fine and I don’t need to get changed AGAIN!!!. Ella’s moaning continued and as I frantically changed tops my button conveniently popped off the blouse I had now actually decided I wanted to wear, with 5 minutes to spare before our lift arrived! I took a deep breath and I
SelfishMother.com
7
politely asked Ella to pass me the scissors from my drawer while I madly ran downstairs half dressed trying to find a needle and thread.

I was sewing my button on as my husband is saying again that there was nothing wrong with the other top and we both looked up to see that Ella had found the fairy dust bottle in my drawer, the one I secretly stashed away after the last visit from the tooth fairy!!! Just as I’m about to say, ”Please put that down honey we don’t want sparkly stuff everywhere.” ”PUFFFFF!!!!!” A huge cloud of pink, silvery, sparkly

SelfishMother.com
8
fairy dust floats through the air and lands all over my husbands jacket hanging on the door. As the dust settled it is clear to see it has now been transformed into an Elton John number! As I gasp and look at my husband and then look at Ella, I just know her little face is about to turn into tears. My heart melts and I simply say ”It’s fine honey, Daddy wanted to go as a fairy tonight. It’s fine.”

It’s one of those moments when you can either laugh or cry….. she laughed, we all laughed… Anyway we managed to shake a lot of the fairy dust off

SelfishMother.com
9
so Daddy was only just a little bit sparkly, the emergency crafts came out and our lift ended up being late anyway.

Ironically, it’s the sparkle in their eyes that does it to me every time. It’s true, there will be bad days where you feel absolutely everything has gone wrong and you will feel like you should have just stayed in bed (… if only you could), but there will also be the sparkly moments that make everything worth while. Nobody tells you honestly how hard it will be as a mummy, it turned my life upside down and it has taken me such a long

SelfishMother.com
10
time to learn that I can’t be perfect and remembering what the real important things are is all that really matters. I love my babies so much and they have given me so much happiness. I think you have to have bad times so you can really remember all of the sparkly moments that you can truly treasure.
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- 6 May 16

Nothing can prepare you for motherhood. You can read every book, have every gadget and have googled everything from nappy rash to sleep deprivation. (Which nobody ever honestly tells you the truth about!) Even if you feel like the most organised person who has a plan for everything. (Eek!!!) You now need a plan B too, or just no plan at all! Feeding and nap times can feel like military operations, going for a weekend away now needs enough organising, planning and packing for a small tour maybe a normal one. Even the contents of the changing bag requires a check list every time you leave base. Basically you really should just be prepared for anything…

It was our first night out after having our second child, Ben. We had been invited to a friend’s surprise 40th birthday party weeks ago and I jumped at the chance of looking forward to a proper night out. I had meticulously planned everything but trying to find an outfit I felt comfortable in was difficult as I tried to disguise my mummy tummy, well what was left of Ben’s snuggly home for last nine months. Eventually I had it all sorted clothes, shoes, bag, makeup, hair the lot! I had booked the babysitter, well… my mother-in- law came to stay. She arrived the day before so I knew there would be no stress as to whether she would get here on time and that she would be around whilst I got ready so I wouldn’t have to rush and really enjoy the getting ready part. (You know like you did when you were younger and getting ready for a night out required a whole day of preparations!!!)

Our lift was sorted, my friend Sarah would pick us up in plenty of time. I had emergency distraction crafts for my eldest, Ella, at the ready and treats for her night in with grandma day care! Things were organised and planned.

I had a nice relaxing bath with no interruptions, that was a miracle in itself as my seven year old would usually burst into the bathroom to sit on the toilet and delightfully inform me that she’s having a number two!!!

I was surprised that things were going well so far, moisturised – check, deodorised – check, make up – check, hair – check, perfume – check, jewellery – check! Husband home from work – check!!!!!! So I just had my clothes to put on, I knew the trousers would be fine as they were the ONLY trousers I had that actually fitted me properly. I had reluctantly taken Gok’s advice and had ordered my actual size. (It really does make sense!) As me and my husband were nearing readiness, my Ella had now come up to the bedroom to tell us she didn’t want us to go out and that we should stay at home! The thought of just putting my pjs on and jumping into bed to catch up on my sleep was a really tempting option right now as I stood looking in the mirror feeling like the size of a house! The top which was perfect a few days ago now just wasn’t right. (I silently screamed in my head…”this is why I don’t go out!!!”) Ella was sat on my bed still complaining about us going out and then my husband starts his unhelpful comments on my outfit and how it’s fine and I don’t need to get changed AGAIN!!!. Ella’s moaning continued and as I frantically changed tops my button conveniently popped off the blouse I had now actually decided I wanted to wear, with 5 minutes to spare before our lift arrived! I took a deep breath and I politely asked Ella to pass me the scissors from my drawer while I madly ran downstairs half dressed trying to find a needle and thread.

I was sewing my button on as my husband is saying again that there was nothing wrong with the other top and we both looked up to see that Ella had found the fairy dust bottle in my drawer, the one I secretly stashed away after the last visit from the tooth fairy!!! Just as I’m about to say, “Please put that down honey we don’t want sparkly stuff everywhere.” “PUFFFFF!!!!!” A huge cloud of pink, silvery, sparkly fairy dust floats through the air and lands all over my husbands jacket hanging on the door. As the dust settled it is clear to see it has now been transformed into an Elton John number! As I gasp and look at my husband and then look at Ella, I just know her little face is about to turn into tears. My heart melts and I simply say “It’s fine honey, Daddy wanted to go as a fairy tonight. It’s fine.”

It’s one of those moments when you can either laugh or cry….. she laughed, we all laughed… Anyway we managed to shake a lot of the fairy dust off so Daddy was only just a little bit sparkly, the emergency crafts came out and our lift ended up being late anyway.

Ironically, it’s the sparkle in their eyes that does it to me every time. It’s true, there will be bad days where you feel absolutely everything has gone wrong and you will feel like you should have just stayed in bed (… if only you could), but there will also be the sparkly moments that make everything worth while. Nobody tells you honestly how hard it will be as a mummy, it turned my life upside down and it has taken me such a long time to learn that I can’t be perfect and remembering what the real important things are is all that really matters. I love my babies so much and they have given me so much happiness. I think you have to have bad times so you can really remember all of the sparkly moments that you can truly treasure.

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