Notes from a new mother: 20 things I’ve learned
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1. The first six weeks are amazing. You just won’t know it at the time. Later you’ll be longing for that haze of feeding, changing and being a bed for your newborn because it meant sitting on your tired arse hitting ‘Watch Next’ on Netflix.
2. Newborn babies do not sleep in their beds (or Moses baskets). They want to be on you. At all times. Even when you’re on the loo.
3. Have muslins in every room, in every bag, in every pocket. Newborn babies are sick all the time. ALL THE TIME.
4. Some babies take the bottle. Some babies don’t
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take the bottle. Some babies take the bottle for eight weeks then stop, forever, trapping you as their sole food source, preventing you from being able to do anything, ever (I may have experienced this…)
5. Naps rule your life. Well, from about three months onwards.
6. Three months is also when the internet tells you that your baby should be able to settle themselves by being put down ’drowsy, but awake’. In reality, there are about 30 seconds of each day where this works. So good luck finding that sweet spot!
7. The internet will also tell
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you babies should only be awake for set times before they become overtired and GOD FORBID you miss those ’sleepy cues’ (if your baby yawns you’ve missed the cues, all hell will break loose). Guess what? It’ll be just fine.
8. You proved you could go without drinking in pregnancy. You will make up for those lost months in no time. because YOU WILL DRINK ALCOHOL ON A DAILY BASIS. This is fine.
9. Calpol is wine for babies. They drink a lot of it. You’ll feel a bit guilty about it. Then ultimately reach for the bottle in times of crisis.
10.
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Pregnancy weight is the least of your worries. And, frankly, after the sleepy newborn days, you’ll barely have a chance to sit still. Plus, breastfeeding = sedentary calorie burning so hand me the cake.
11. Sleep deprivation is real. But – somehow – you will survive. In months four and five went two months on no more than two hours (sometimes 45 minutes) sleep at a time. I survived. Eight months on I’m still (just about) recognisable. I think…
12. Babies change their minds at the drop of a hat. Awww, they love baths? Then they HATE baths!
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They love the car? That’s nice. Soon they HATE the car. They sleep well? Ohhh, do they now…. Roll with it (you have no choice).
13. There’s a secret code (dare I say, sisterhood) between new mums – and dads for that matter. When passing each other, as you pace up and down with your prams, you’ll glance with a slight smile, which simply says “yep, I know.”
14. Baby cinema is lovely. But you can’t do it for long. Once naps rule your life (see earlier) it’s game over. Unless you just want to sit in a dark, air-conditioned room and
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you’re ok with missing the entire film.
15. Snot suckers are a thing. A gross thing.
16. Babies love trees! Nature’s mobile without the Mamas & Papas price tag.
17. Be prepared for much of your baby equipment to go unused. Second hand for the win.
18. Choosing your baby’s outfit for the day is SO fun. You’ll feel like Tim Gunn from Project Runway, which is just as well as outfit changes will occur sometimes hourly…
19. Your baby’s smiles and – eventually – laughs are like nothing else on this earth and will get you through
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the darkest of days.
20. And finally, I may only have one baby, but I can already say in no uncertain terms that no two babies are the same. Try not to compare their developmental timelines, likes and dislikes, and definitely don’t compare their sleep patterns. Some babies sleep through the night at three months – but it might be easier to accept that yours probably won’t.
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Nathalie Carter - 3 Dec 18
1. The first six weeks are amazing. You just won’t know it at the time. Later you’ll be longing for that haze of feeding, changing and being a bed for your newborn because it meant sitting on your tired arse hitting ‘Watch Next’ on Netflix.
2. Newborn babies do not sleep in their beds (or Moses baskets). They want to be on you. At all times. Even when you’re on the loo.
3. Have muslins in every room, in every bag, in every pocket. Newborn babies are sick all the time. ALL THE TIME.
4. Some babies take the bottle. Some babies don’t take the bottle. Some babies take the bottle for eight weeks then stop, forever, trapping you as their sole food source, preventing you from being able to do anything, ever (I may have experienced this…)
5. Naps rule your life. Well, from about three months onwards.
6. Three months is also when the internet tells you that your baby should be able to settle themselves by being put down ‘drowsy, but awake’. In reality, there are about 30 seconds of each day where this works. So good luck finding that sweet spot!
7. The internet will also tell you babies should only be awake for set times before they become overtired and GOD FORBID you miss those ‘sleepy cues’ (if your baby yawns you’ve missed the cues, all hell will break loose). Guess what? It’ll be just fine.
8. You proved you could go without drinking in pregnancy. You will make up for those lost months in no time. because YOU WILL DRINK ALCOHOL ON A DAILY BASIS. This is fine.
9. Calpol is wine for babies. They drink a lot of it. You’ll feel a bit guilty about it. Then ultimately reach for the bottle in times of crisis.
10. Pregnancy weight is the least of your worries. And, frankly, after the sleepy newborn days, you’ll barely have a chance to sit still. Plus, breastfeeding = sedentary calorie burning so hand me the cake.
11. Sleep deprivation is real. But – somehow – you will survive. In months four and five went two months on no more than two hours (sometimes 45 minutes) sleep at a time. I survived. Eight months on I’m still (just about) recognisable. I think…
12. Babies change their minds at the drop of a hat. Awww, they love baths? Then they HATE baths! They love the car? That’s nice. Soon they HATE the car. They sleep well? Ohhh, do they now…. Roll with it (you have no choice).
13. There’s a secret code (dare I say, sisterhood) between new mums – and dads for that matter. When passing each other, as you pace up and down with your prams, you’ll glance with a slight smile, which simply says “yep, I know.”
14. Baby cinema is lovely. But you can’t do it for long. Once naps rule your life (see earlier) it’s game over. Unless you just want to sit in a dark, air-conditioned room and you’re ok with missing the entire film.
15. Snot suckers are a thing. A gross thing.
16. Babies love trees! Nature’s mobile without the Mamas & Papas price tag.
17. Be prepared for much of your baby equipment to go unused. Second hand for the win.
18. Choosing your baby’s outfit for the day is SO fun. You’ll feel like Tim Gunn from Project Runway, which is just as well as outfit changes will occur sometimes hourly…
19. Your baby’s smiles and – eventually – laughs are like nothing else on this earth and will get you through the darkest of days.
20. And finally, I may only have one baby, but I can already say in no uncertain terms that no two babies are the same. Try not to compare their developmental timelines, likes and dislikes, and definitely don’t compare their sleep patterns. Some babies sleep through the night at three months – but it might be easier to accept that yours probably won’t.
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Hi, I'm Nathalie. I live in Bristol and I've been mum to the lovely Zoe since April 2018. Motherhood arrived during a very difficult time in my life - it's been both an enormous challenge and the best thing I've ever done.
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