Oh so tired

Janet Stone - 14 Nov 17

Tiredness is not taken seriously enough. It’s such a debilitating, all consuming feeling. People fling the word ‘tired’ round willy nilly and its hard to compare who is the tiredest with someone else who says their tired, although I know for sure if someone in their 20’s who doesn’t have kids says their really tired, that they are not as tired as me.

Last week I was soooo tired, yet again, I started thinking that there must be something physically wrong with me. Then I remembered a similar thing happening with my daughter at around the 6-9 month mark. I actually went and had a series of blood tests to see if it was my iron levels or thyroid or some underlying issue. When they all came back clear, the doctor told me that it could be that I was looking after a baby. I wasn’t convinced.

There really should be a recognised term used for extreme child induced tiredness in order to give it the respect it deserves. I need this to gain the understanding, sympathy and possible help (in the form of hot drink providing) that I need.

The child free person at work after a later night than usual saying they are tired is probably on a 3 where as a mum with a newborn baby could be an 8. Although your scale for tiredness is only really comparative against your own experience/life circumstances. This doesn’t make the young person after a series of nights out statements of tiredness any less annoying. This person actually believes that they are really tired! (hysterical laughter).

In response to me telling a young, free and single colleague that I felt a bit sick from feeling over tired, she told me that she felt tired as well but from having had too much sleep. (hysterical laughter). Initially I starred at her blankly trying to absorb this information before wondering why on earth she would have told me that! Another, when I said I was a little tired, asked ‘what time did you wake up?’ reminding me of how I used to rate my tiredness on such a short term influences. What time I woke up nowadays seemed totally irrelevant as it was the last 4 years of my life that was making me tired. The battle to leave the house, debating and negotiating imaginatively in order to simply get the toddler to put her shoes and coat on to leave before the baby starts crying, one of many tiny daily battles that wear me right out.

I think when you reach an 8/9 on the tiredness scale you actually have PSCIT (Pre-school-children-induced-tiredness). People would really feel for you when you say you have PSCIT, doctor’s would be able to diagnose this and you could even call in sick to work with PSCIT where by your boss would say – ‘poor you, rest up and don’t rush back’. You could shut the annoying people down with this – “I’m so tired” . ‘Well, I have PSCIT’. You could explain away irrational behaviour with this, ‘I’m so sorry, I have PSCIT’ and people would nod sympathetically, ‘Oooo no poor you’.

A bit of a letter to tiredness…

Shrouded with a heavy weight I cannot forget you, you are weighing me down during every move I make as I start my day, I cannot shake you off, you cloud my every thought and make everything harder and less enjoyable. You are a total bastard.

Sometimes you make me feel like I am not able to string a sentence together, let alone gather my thoughts enough to make decisions or arrangements.

You make me lose perspective, making mole hills into mountains. The dangerous thing is I do not realise this at the time, I am not aware that my reaction to something is because I actually am just dog tired and that tomorrow I may not feel the same way.

Coffee can barely make a dent in you, but perhaps temporarily take the edge off. Sometimes overdoing the caffeine can feel horrendous and add to the pain with inducing a feeling of panic in the form of rapid heart rate and nausea.

With heavy legs I go about my day. Planning when I could squeeze in 20 winks so you may ease just a little.

Then the opportunity is finally here – nap time. Time to shake you off. Sometimes the pressure is just too much and my mind darts around like crazy not letting me drift off or just as I do there is a little cry jolting me back up to the surface. If I get a few winks I feel like I’m winning.

The afternoon shift has arrived, with a few short hours of activity time before 5pm – also known as – the beginning of the end. From here on now its all down hill till 7pm when the kids go to bed.

 The second the kids have gone to bed and I feel you ease a little – how typical – a second wind at this stage of the game. This usually scuppers my early night that has been at the back of my mind all day so you aren’t as bad tomorrow.

Blissful loafing and leisure time then, night night tiredness, see you soon.

Janet Stone

Writer, baker, body scrub maker. Part time corporate copywriter. Wannabe freelance writer. Blog writer, read mostly by my mum.

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